Hiển thị các bài đăng có nhãn Sony Pictures. Hiển thị tất cả bài đăng
Hiển thị các bài đăng có nhãn Sony Pictures. Hiển thị tất cả bài đăng

Thứ Năm, 25 tháng 12, 2014

THE INTERVIEW - Review By Greg Klymkiw - KimJong-un AssassinationComedy not funny


The cast of
THE INTERVIEW
has way more fun
than its audience will.

The Interview (2014)
Dir. Seth Rogen, Evan Goldberg
Scr. Dan Sterling
Starring: Seth Rogen, James Franco, Randall Park, Lizzy Caplan, Diana Bang, Eminem, Rob Lowe

Review By Greg Klymkiw

On paper, this must have sounded pretty good. The producer (Seth Rogen) and host (James Franco) of a highly rated sleaze-o-rama TV interview show specialize in outrageous shock-value exposes of American pop culture celebrities: for example, Eminem announces his homosexuality on the show, whilst Rob Lowe removes a toupee and there's talk of interviewing Matthew McConaughey about his sexual relations with a goat. When the dictator of North Korea, Kim Jong-un, a huge fan of the show agrees to an interview, our bro-mantic couple are not only going to be shipped all expenses paid to North Korea, but are approached and trained by the CIA to assassinate him.


Hilarity, supposedly, ensues.

Unfortunately, The Interview just isn't very funny and spins its wheels most of the time in a sort of schizophrenic manner - never reaching the level of bonafide satire, nor lowering itself to the depths of just plain outrageous humour. Franco and Rogen are, as per usual, engaging enough and manage to squeeze out a few mild chuckles along the way, but because their performances are both pitched so high in the tongue-in-cheek department, it manages to mute whatever laugh potential existed in the material if it had been played with much straighter faces.




The picture's attempts at a kind of good-natured balancing act between blinkered American racism and ethnocentrism never works since the film is so far removed from being genuine satire that such extremities which, might have been delightfully, darkly and viciously funny in that context, just fall flat. As it stands, jokes about how cute dogs can only live freely in America instead of being eaten by ravenous, starving North Koreans or how stupid the North Korean security forces are that they never implant surveillance equipment in the rooms occupied by the leading men (as they openly discuss their assassination plans) and Kim Jong-un's secret obsession with Katy Perry music (and the list, goes on and on and on) all feel like discarded SNL gags.

In terms of the picture's potential to poke fun at America's constant attempts to overthrow dictators - not because it's the right thing to do, but because they can gain economic and political footholds the world over - is all dashed when the seemingly friendly Kim Jong-un is eventually revealed to be the psychotic despot everyone has assumed he was to begin with. American might is right and assassination IS the ONLY answer. It's here where the movie is a not-so-shameless propping up of American Imperialism at its worst.

Some might suggest I doth pretest too much - that The Interview is just meant to be a silly, good-natured comedy. Stupid, however, is not silly and assassination is not good-natured. Worst of all, the movie isn't even supremely godawful, it's just crashingly mediocre. Did I smile and chuckle? Very occasionally. Did the movie ever bore me? Well, uh yeah, actually it did. Did, God Forbid, the movie offend me? Well, sort of - only insofar as its subject matter could well have been exploited for its satirical potential and instead, took incendiary material and reduced it to the level of a sub-par buddy comedy a la Bing and Bob On the Road (but lacking even the "sophistication" of those creaky endeavours).

The Eminem and Rob Lowe cameo interviews are not without some meagre merit and Randall Park genuinely delivers a standout performance as the dictator - delivering most of his stuff with a straight face and only eventually going into over-the-top territory where the script, such as it is, demands the actor to go. Sadly, the scene with the greatest potential to be inspired lunacy involves finger-biting, but it never goes as far as it should. It injects something potentially outrageous, but holds back where it counts the most. All one need do is recall the Monty Python sketch entitled "Salad Days By Sam Peckinpah" to acknowledge the missed potential here.

Overall, The Interview proves to be one rancid, overcooked bowl of kimchi.

The funniest moment for me was when Kim Jong-un reveals a tank bestowed upon North Korea by Stalin. James Franco corrects the dictator by saying, "In my country, we pronounce his name as "Stallone."

This, garnering the biggest laugh from me, simply hammered home that the movie is unequivocally lame at best.

THE FILM CORNER RATING: *½ One-and-a-half-stars

The Interview is in limited theatrical release and playing day-and-date on VOD via Sony Pictures.

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Thứ Ba, 2 tháng 9, 2014

THE EQUALIZER (WORLD PREMIERE TIFF 2014 - TIFF GALA) - Review By Greg Klymkiw


Sometimes a peaceful man must
KILL RUSSIANS!
The Equalizer (2014)
Dir. Antoine Fuqua
Scr. Richard Wenk
Starring: Denzel Washington, Marton Csokas, Chloë Grace Moretz, David Harbour, Bill Pullman, Melissa Leo, David Meunier, Haley Bennett, Allen Maldonado, Dan Bilzerian

Review By Greg Klymkiw

If you're going to make a movie about a retired CIA intelligence operative (Denzel Washington, sporting a nicely-shaved pate), living a quality life of mega-Zen-O-Rama in Boston, hanging out nightly in a quaint greasy spoon wherein he reads classic literature recommended to him by his now-dead wife, befriending a sweet teenage whore (Chloë Grace Moretz) "owned" by the Russian Mob, but who could be the daughter he never had, save for the parts where she spreads her legs for a myriad of gross clients and suffers savage beatings at the hands of her despicable Putin-like pimp, then, my friends, if your movie revolves around a man such as this, it is absolutely imperative that you give this lethal, morally incorruptible gent a job in a big box Home Depot-like store since sooner or later, he's going to take out the entire Russkie criminal underworld and it will be ever-so helpful (for him) and delightful (for us) when he's forced to kill a mess o' bad guys by utilizing what one normally finds in such insanely expansive shopping oases: various tools, hammers, drills, saws and (my favourite). . .

NAIL GUNS.

The mind boggles.

Well, as derivative as Richard Wenk's still-efficient screenplay proves to be, director Antoine Fuqua (Training Day) runs with the sturdy coat hanger handed to him by the aforementioned scribe and offers up a genuinely great macho-man action film that dazzles with a perfectly-pitched directorial style and skill-level to put all the hacks and poseurs who can't direct action to complete and utter shame.

Fuqua knows exactly where to place his camera, holds nicely on wide shots that display rigorous fight choreography of the finest pedigree and only uses mediums, closeups and cuts when he needs to for the purposes of rendering dramatic beats. Wenk even allows for a Quentin Tarantino rip-off, which is, in fact, a rip-off of many films before the crime-loving auteur began to employ the delicious technique of endless dialogue twixt opposing forces and eventually exploding into the most mind-blowing extremities of violence imaginable.

Fuqua's picture is so well directed that all the cliches and rip-offs are water off a duck's back. It's first-rate entertainment which allows Denzel Washington the opportunity to rescue Chloë Grace Moretz and put a dent in the Mob's business dealings to a point where a vicious trouble-shooter from the Old Country sails into town with an endless supply of assassins who Denzel is allowed to dispatch - one after another, and in ways that might make even the most Liberal of audiences buy the rabid anti-Russia propaganda hook, line and sinker.

Vaguely based on the 80s cult TV show, this has "action franchise" written all over it. That's all well and good, but I'd love to see Fuqua direct Washington in a movie that actually had a great script a la the dirty 70s practitioners of violent existential male angst. I doubt we'll find it in a franchise, but for now, I'll hold fast onto the pleasures The Equalizer delivers and dreamily imagine a day when I see a movie truly worthy of these two supremely gifted men.

THE FILM CORNER RATING: *** 3-Stars

The Equalizer enjoys its Gala world premiere at TIFF 2014 and will be released by Sony Pictures.

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Chủ Nhật, 20 tháng 1, 2013

THE KILLER THAT STALKED NEW YORK - DVD review by Greg Klymkiw - Low budget, independently produced film noir thriller blends plague and crime.


The Killer That Stalked New York (1950) ***
dir. Earl McEvoy
Starring Evelyn Keyes, Dorothy Malone, Lola Albright, Charles Korvin, William Bishop and Barry Kelley

Review By Greg Klymkiw

Within the course of day-to-day existence, crime itself can be perceived as an epidemic - it takes root and spreads like wildfire. And so it is in the movies. There's nothing quite like mixing illegal anti-social behaviour with the emergence of a deadly plague.

In 1950, two pictures managed to blend these elements in very interesting and entertaining ways. The most prominent of this odd sub-genre was Elia Kazan's Panic in the Streets, a 20th Century Fox release which featured Richard Widmark as a Public Health officer in pursuit of a pair of criminals (Jack Palance and Zero Mostel) afflicted with the deadly pneunomic plague.

Complimenting Kazan's high-profile item is an almost-forgotten entry in the post-war noir blend of threats to health and public safety, The Killer That Stalked New York, a low budget, independently produced picture. The former title is clearly the better film of the two, but the latter is not without merit, and seeing as it's been so rare, the picture is especially worth looking at.

One of the weirder aspects of this lesser-known crime melodrama is the central figure - a female character who is, by no means a traditional bottle-blonde bad girl. She's desperate, love-stricken, decidedly older and, I might add, vaguely pathetic - not a traditional hardboiled female heroine in the least. While cinema has had its share of suffering women, they always suffered gorgeously, and often, triumphantly, but here, we are shoved face-to-face with the 34-year-old-and-rather-long-in-tooth Evelyn Keyes (Scarlett O'Hara's sister Sue Ellen in Gone With The Wind).

She's not especially well-costumed, nor made-up and lit in a manner befitting a leading lady. (In fairness to Keyes, though, she's definitely in the realm of MILF-dom, just not in a traditionally glamourous Garbo-Crawford-Dietrich manner.) This is something that makes her performance a lot more interesting, but there is also the nagging reality that Keyes was cast in such a low budget picture PRECISELY because she was affordable and that the poverty-row of the production didn't allow for the grooming and lighting NORMALLY afforded to a leading lady.

Playing the title role, we first discover Keyes stepping off a Cuban boat and onto the harbour platforms of New York. Having smuggled $50k worth of diamonds into the country for her smarmy, no-good, foreign accented boyfriend (Charles Korvin) - we know he's rotten to the core because this is America in the 50s and he sure doesn't sound American at all. He's also oily.

In American cinema - especially during this period - oily men are always evil. Visiting a doctor, Keyes meets and briefly befriends a little girl who, as it turns out, is afflicted with smallpox. And before you can say "epidemic," Keyes desperately wanders the city, spreading plague and out-running law enforcement and public health investigators.

Proficiently directed by Earl McEvoy (he worked primarily as an assistant and second unit director), it's a picture that, even for it's relatively short running time, feels about 20 minutes too long. In spite of this, it still delivers the goods as an entertaining and intriguing dark melodrama, especially because of its excellent use of actual New York locations for much of the film.

Most notably, the movie is blessed with a talented and delectable trio of leading ladies. In fairness to the once-radiant Keyes (and director), part of her frumpy, haggish appearance could be chalked up to the filmmakers (and Keyes) trying to be realistic about portraying a desperate, over-the-hill moll with smallpox. That said, Keyes is buoyed by the appearance and performances of Dorothy Malone (hubba-hubba) as a nurse and the yummy Lola Albright as Keyes's little sister who is having a torrid, shameful, guilt-ridden affair with the handsome slimebag Korvin.

Another oddball aspect of the picture is how our leading lady Keyes is so dour. She suffers through the picture to a point where she begins to look and feel almost cretinous. Whereas Palance and Mostel in the similar roles in Panic in the Streets are so manic and over-the-top that they elicit a lot of (intentional) laughs in addition to their malevolence. There is, ultimately, nothing malevolent about Keyes and she's humourless to boot.

We're basically forced to watch a pathetic frump flailing about. That said, there IS a bit of sadomasochistic pleasure in witnessing her performance, and that's nothing to sneeze (and/or cough up bloody phlegm) at.

"The Killer That Stalked New York" is available on DVD via Sony Pictures Home Entertainment in Volume 1 of the two volume series "The Bad Girls of Film Noir".



Thứ Bảy, 22 tháng 9, 2012

AGE OF CONSENT - Review By Greg Klymkiw - Michael Powell delivers Helen Mirren - NUDE

There's more to admire
in AGE OF CONSENT
by Michael Powell
than the sight of Helen Mirren's
23-year-old milky flesh,
her supple breasts
and her perfect pillowy rump.
Seriously.
Really.
James Mason is in it.
He's always worth watching.
As is Helen Mirren.
Nude.
Age of Consent (1969) **1/2
dir. Michael Powell
Starring: James Mason, Helen Mirren, Jack MacGowran, Neva Carr-Glynn, Andonia Katsaros

Review By Greg Klymkiw

Okay, I don’t mean to reduce this movie to the following, but how can one not? The very thought of Helen Mirren NAKED in anything is always a cause for rejoicing.

However, the fact that Mirren is 23 years old in this film AND nude, semi-nude or in skimpy, skin-tight attire for pretty much the entire running time means that even if one doesn’t like the movie, there is plenty – and I mean PLENTY – to admire!


Luckily, there IS so much more to admire here than Miss Mirren’s various states of undress, her seemingly naive and alternatively knowing character, her lips, her eyes, her milky flesh, her supple, delectable breasts and her exquisite, pillowy and utterly perfect rump roast.

In addition to the sight of Mirren's gossamer soft tissue, the picture stars a taught, tanned and terrific James Mason, a lovely supporting bit from Jack MacGowran (he played the ill-fated alcoholic director Burke Dennings in The Exorcist) and last, but certainly not least, it's the final work by one of cinema’s greatest auteurs, Michael Powell (The Red Shoes, Black Narcissus, The Life and Death of Colonel Blimp, Peeping Tom).

Set against the stunning topography of the Great Barrier Reef, Age of Consent tells the slight, but entertaining story of a middle aged artist who, while financially successful, is at a crossroads in his creative life and feels he has yet to generate work that has any value beyond the purely monetary. Seeking solace, he decides to pack it all in and settle on what he believes to be a deserted island on the reef in order to get both relaxation and, perhaps, a spark of inspiration.

The island, however, is not bereft of a population – a ragtag group of hermit-like inhabitants soon rear their heads. Some of them are ugly. There’s a kooky middle-aged Miss Haversham type (Andonia Katsaros), starved for sex and a drunken old hag (Neva Carr-Glynn) who spends much of her time sucking back cheap booze and abusing her beautiful, young granddaughter.

This is where Mirren raises her head of perfection. As the granddaughter Cora, Mirren eventually catches the eye of the artist and before you can say “Humbert Humbert”, she’s dropping her clothes and providing him the muse-like services he so desperately requires. Inevitably, Cora provides services of the sexual kind, but Mason’s character is so self absorbed that he’s blinded by his genius and doesn’t realize just how much Cora begins to love him.

Powell always had a soft spot for odd, obsessive characters living in either the outer reaches of the planet (I Know Where I’m Going) or in worlds far removed from the daily life most of us know (The Red Shoes). One can see how he was attracted to the material Age of Consent provided him.

Based on the semi-autobiographical novel by Norman Lindsay, it allows Powell the opportunity to train his lens on the stunning natural beauty of the Great Barrier Reef while at the same time, focusing almost microscopically on those who inhabit it – dwarfed as they are like just so many insects. Mason, who doubled as the producer always longed to work with Powell so when he brought the project to him, it was a match made in Heaven.

The supporting cast is also not without considerable merit. Appearing as Mason’s drunken, gambling-addicted old pal, Jack MacGowaran comes close to stealing every scene he is in. There are also two cameos that add considerable texture to the picture. One is the great Australian character actor Frank Thring as Mason’s haughty agent and Mason’s real-life wife Clarissa Kaye who plays his sultry, raven-haired beauty on the mainland. She’s so wonderful in her brief appearance that one wishes she’d had a career well beyond her devotion to Mason.

Sadly, this was Powell’s final feature. He lived for another quarter of a century after it was released and tried in vain to get other projects off the ground. Married to ace editor Thelma Schoonmaker, being the recipient of accolades, retrospectives, restorations and in particular, the adoration of numerous filmmakers including the great Martin Scorsese (who continues to cite Powell as his primary inspiration), Powell was only able to raise financing for two short works after Age of Consent.

As Scorsese movingly notes in an accompanying interview in the recent DVD release of Powell’s preferred cut (as opposed to the heavily butchered version that floated around for too many years), Powell never ceased to face a day without planning films he wanted to make. He was the ultimate filmmaker in that sense. As the world passed him by on some levels, he never gave up.

If the film falters slightly, it’s only in comparison to the considerable emotional and intellectual depth of Powell’s previous work. That said - Mirren’s Cora is a delicate, exquisite creature. There is both a passion and understanding beneath her supple youth and radiating from her soulful eyes that we are drawn to her as Mason’s character also is – with both yearning and passion.

It’s a lovely little film.

And did I mention Mirren is naked in it?

A lot!

“Age of Consent” is available on DVD in a package titled “Michael Powell, The Collector’s Choice” from Sony Pictures Home Entertainment and double-billed with a restored version of Powell’s truly brilliant “A Matter of Life and Death” (AKA “Stairway to Heaven”)

Chủ Nhật, 2 tháng 9, 2012

LOOPER - TIFF 2012 - Review By Greg Klymkiw - Rian Johnson delivers a fun script and first-rate action direction in this SF thriller about time travelling hit men. Plenty of testosterone and a lithe Emily Blunt to more than make up for the smelly macho men.

Looper (2012) ***
dir. Rian Johnson
TIFF 2012 Gala
Starring: Bruce Willis,
Joseph Gordon-Levitt,
Emily Blunt, Jeff Daniels

Review By
Greg Klymkiw


I don't believe in guilty pleasures. If the picture is fast-food, so be it. All that matters is that it's McDonald's and not Harvey's. Looper is a double Big Mac with extra Secret Sauce. Yum. Yum. Yum.

By now, the world already knows that this is the mega-spactacular science fiction action thriller where time travelling hit men for the mob bop back and forth to stylishly carry out their odious deeds.

The big twist that everyone also knows because they can't possibly buy a ticket to a movie with knowing absolutely every detail in advance of seeing it is that a hit man must travel in time to put a hit - you guessed it - on himself.

Why he needs to hit himself, I will leave for you to discover - unless you've read a review or puff piece that moronically gives it away. Let's just say, though, that it makes perfect sense so long as you don't think too hard about it.

Writer-Director Rian Johnson's screenplay has so many insane twists and turns, you might have a hard time figuring out exactly where you are "in time", but it won't really matter because it's all plenty fun. That it borrows quite liberally from the time travel machinations of The Terminator and the where-the-fuck-am-I mind bending of the original Total Recall isn't a problem, either. The best rule of thumb in the movies is if you're going to steal, you steal from the best.

Thankfully, Johnson has a great sense of humour and he peppers the piece with a lot of snappy, funny, hard-boiled and occasionally acerbic dialogue. He also doesn't complicate matters too much beyond fleshing out the bare minimum of something resembling character. We get just enough all-beef patties to let us know who people are and why they're doing what they're doing.

A lot has been said about the stunning digital effects used to render Joseph Gordon-Levitt's face to approximate a younger version of Bruce Willis, but what's really worth getting excited about is Gordon-Levitt's spirited performance and the fact that his genuinely agreeable screen presence isn't overshadowed by the F/X team's wizardry. Willis too, is at his stalwart best and when the young and old versions of the same character need to team up, there's a pleasing enough degree of fun to be had seeing two different actors playing the same character.

Though the two sides of the same character provide plenty of conflict, any movie of this kind would be incomplete without a great villain. Jeff Daniels wryly and deliciously serves up one of his best performances in years as the crime boss of the time travelling hit men who is behind the mysterious series of accelerating hits being placed on older versions of the young hit men's selves by themselves.

Confused yet? Don't be. It's not really all THAT complicated.

One of the best things about the picture can be summed up in two words:

Emily Blunt!

This stunning, lithe, sexy gazelle woman provides a nice alternative to all the testosterone in the picture. And, of course, there's nothing sexier than Emily Blunt wielding a deadly phallus-like shotgun.

Bring it on, baby! Blunt's contributions are about as delectable as a barrel full of zesty McDonald's Special Sauce.

Unfortunately, the one place Johnson's script stumbles is an extended period of time involving Blunt and her annoying kid. This, I suppose, is to add a "human factor" to the equation of macho dystopian SF ass-kicking, but it's an additional 15-or-so minutes the movie could have easily done without. It almost irredeemably slows things down - sufficiently enough that we get too much time to think about the story's plot-holes, inconsistencies and occasionally, just how stupid it is.

No matter, though, the very best element of the film is delivered in spades. Johnson's direction of the action and suspense is first-rate. The compositions are nicely rendered, the cutting is never wham-bam-thank-you-m'am and we actually get a bare minimum of the dreaded herky-jerky shooting style that far too many contemporary action movies are saddled with. The action is lean, mean, brutal and often edge-of-the-seat thrilling.

Like a good Big Mac, though, Looper is great while you're ingesting it, but when it's over and done with, it's really all over. As supremely entertaining and well crafted as the movie is, it's fairly disposable. I suspect that two minutes upon leaving the cinema, you might well forget pretty much everything you just saw.

What you'll remember, however, is that the picture was generally more than satisfying while it lasted - four all-beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions on a sesame seed bun.

And Emily Blunt with a gun.

"Looper" was the opening night Gala of the Toronto International Film Festival (TIFF 2012) and will soon be opening everywhere.





Thứ Tư, 1 tháng 2, 2012

STRAW DOGS (2011) review by Greg Klymkiw - Incompetence Incorporated generates pathetic remake of Peckinpah Classic. Rod Lurie relieves himself upon audience and Peckinpah with rancid après botulism-infused burrito from Panchito's Whorehouse and Chimichanga Parlour in glorious Ensenada.




Straw Dogs (2011) dir. Rod Lurie
Starring: James Marsden, Kate Bosworth, Alexander Skarsgard, James Woods

*

By Greg Klymkiw

God knows I love a good remake. When a great story can be repositioned to present the same tale in a completely different time and place and is rendered by a director with vision, it can generate really fine work. Genre pictures are especially ideal for remakes - horror, sci-fi, suspense, mysteries and on occasion even musicals. The first three film adaptations of Jack Finney's cold war sci-fi novel "Invasion of the Body Snatchers" rendered three excellent and thoroughly distinctive films in the '50s, '70s and '90s - directed respectively by such diverse talents as Don Siegel, Philip Kaufmann and Abel Ferrara. Howard Hawks' classic '50s production of The Thing eventually yielded John Carpenter's bone chilling 1982 remake. And frankly, if it weren't for remakes, John Huston's 1941 adaptation of The Maltese Falcon with Humphrey Bogart (the THIRD film version of Dashiell Hammett's novel) wouldn't exist, nor would George Cukor's exquisite Judy Garland-James Mason version of A Star is Born (also the the third screen telling of the classic tale that began with the film What Price Hollywood?)

Some movies aren't so perfect for remakes because they are so tied to a specific time and place. The filmmaking techniques aren't necessarily dated, but the inherent values infusing the era are so inextricably linked to the story that applying contemporary mores half-cocks them. A good example of this is the great J. Lee Thompson's Cape Fear with Robert Mitchum and Gregory Peck where the clear divisions between good and evil are what contribute to the horror and suspense. When Martin Scorsese updated the film for his remake, he tried to be clever and blur those lines. That's why his remake doesn't work. Sure, it has his astounding direction and a few visceral moments that pack a punch, but ultimately, by creating moral ambiguities in the character of the lawyer, you actually end up muddying something that was, in its very simplicity, far more complex and, frankly, a lot more terrifying.

Some movies, however, are so perfect, so universal, so AHEAD of their time, that the necessity of a remake is simply uncalled for. In fact, the very notion of remaking them can only be pure commerce, pure greed and worst of all - pure and utter stupidity.

Sam Peckinpah's Straw Dogs is such a picture.

Based on the terrific pulp novel by Gordon Williams, the original 1971 shocker has, in my estimation, not dated one bit. It's as powerful and universal in its disturbing ambiguities as it ever was. (Unlike the original Cape Fear, for example, it is ambiguity that DRIVES Peckinpah's engine.)

The story of both the original and remake are simple enough, and on the surface, are identical. An intellectual and his sexpot wife move to a house in the country where the woman grew up. The husband is a dyed-in-the-wool city boy, but looks towards the solace of country living to complete his work. The wife's self-perceived inadequacies fall from her shoulders once she's back in her old stomping grounds - she's on familiar turf, hubby is not.

The local rednecks, one of whom had a passionate affair with wifey before she left for greener pastures in the big city, chide the city slicker hubby and drool over wifey. What wifey wants more than anything is her hubby to stand up and be a man - to rise (or in his mind, lower) to the level of the inbred ruffians. Eventually, the couple's pet kitty is strung up in the bedroom closet, wifey is raped and in a final showdown, the rednecks lay siege to the couple's farmhouse where hubby proves his manhood and defends his home with a brute force resulting in the savage deaths of the crazed marauders.

Peckinpah's film worked on two basic levels. Number one, it was a slowly stomach churning thriller that exploded into an orgy of bloody violence. Number two, it worked as an intense study of a marriage on the brink of extinction. Rod Lurie's remake works on neither level, though it pathetically attempts to deliver the goods with the former.

Lurie's film is shot and lit with all the artistry of a television drama. The genuinely suspenseful situation is never tense. The explosion of violence is on the level of a lower-drawer low-budget action picture. Worst of all, the acting is borderline incompetent - Marsden and Bosworth in the roles originally and so brilliantly played by Dustin Hoffman and Susan George prove to be such non-entities that they don't even appear to belong in this movie at all. And what can one say when even the king of supreme cinematic scumbaggery, James Woods, looks severely bored and in need of a paycheque as the drunken, psychotic redneck villain.

One of the remake's many boneheaded decisions is to set the film in America. Peckinpah's version works so well BECAUSE it is about an American and his British sex pot wife moving to a tiny village in England. Though Hoffman's character is, on the surface an educated, Liberal pacifist, he is American - he's left the New World behind and brought his trophy wife to the Old World - her home turf. It's the journey across the Atlantic that helps create the divide necessary for the film to work. Lurie, on the other hand, has no great cultural and geographical chasm to deal with. Granted, Los Angeles and rural Mississippi are regionally distinctive locales, but this is never explored in any intelligent, tangible way.

As a Canadian who has visited many corners of America, one of the most indelible impressions left emblazoned on my psyche was the genuinely alien feeling I had in Mississippi. No matter where I went I was greeted (as it were) with a malevolent sounding “Y’all nawt frum ‘round heah!” That, of course, was what I only vaguely understood when I could ascertain what belched from within the mush-mouthed chewing-tobacco-plugged maw of the speaker – lazily muttering words that appeared to be in the English language. The greeting (as it, uh, were) was never a question, but a statement of fact – one hurled with as much bile as possible. One of my visits occured soon after the free trade agreement between Canada and the USA had been signed, sealed and delivered. A common refrain from Mississippians was: "Whut's with yew'all Kun-ay-dee-yuns? Yew all wants to trade witch us fo' free?"

God bless Mississippi!!!

Racism, in addition to general ignorance and brain deficiency in Mississippi also ran shockingly and openly rampant. I could, for example, walk into a restaurant and the greeter would manage expel the aforementioned salutation with a somewhat more modest degree of literacy than gas station attendants and convenience store clerks and proceed, once confirming that I indeed was “not from around here” lead me into a section of the restaurant where I was surrounded by African-Americans. The other side of the restaurant was where Americans of the NON-African-American persuasion were sitting. A dark-skinned family seated in the next table made a point of offering words of welcome. One of them leaned over in my direction, smiled, and said in a FRIENDLY way, “I see, Sir, that you are not, in fact, from around here.” I confirmed this fact to him. He laughed and said, “That’s good. You’re in good company on this side of the restaurant.” I could only concur heartily.

The bottom line is this: Tied with the equally horrendous state of Alabama, Mississippi was one of the most dementedly scary places I'd ever been.

Not surprisingly, the woefully untalented Lurie captures none of this in any REAL way. His movie TELLS us that “White Trash” Mississippians are ignorant rednecks, but if it didn't, they'd all look like affluent city slickers playing dress-up.

One of the things that MIGHT have allowed a Straw Dogs remake to soar is the very idea that in one's own country one can feel like a foreigner. This is, in America, not at all difficult to swallow. Lurie, however, glances upon this potential with a vague, "Oh-must-I?" nod and moves on to "better" things. What those things are I can only guess at because whatever they might be they're invisible to me.

The other boneheaded decision is to turn hubby into a screenwriter instead of Dustin Hoffman's egg-headed mathematician in the Peckinpah film. Making the character a city slicker academic in the original made far more sense in terms of how he'd be viewed with disdain by the locals. In Lurie's version - especially in the context of contemporary society - I doubt a screenwriter for Hollywood movies would be viewed with so much contempt. I'd suspect the opposite. He'd be welcomed with pretty open arms. Everyone loves the movies - even inbred rednecks.

Where Lurie completely drops the ball here, though, is in making use of hubby's screenwriting prowess during the final showdown - or rather, NOT using it. Peckinpah made brilliant use of Dustin Hoffman being a mathematician - numbers, formulas, patterns: all the stuff that go into assisting his character in crossing over from benign academic into blood-lusting killer.

So why, oh why, oh why, does Lurie turn the character into a screenwriter, then have the knot-head express a prissy, "Oh, I don't do action or horror movies." Uh, why the fuck not? What a lost opportunity. It might have been very cool to have hubby utilize his "screenplay" to carry out his carnage. As it is, Lurie does have his screenwriting character working on a war picture set in Stalingrad.

Uh, Rod! Hello? Stalingrad? One of the bloodiest battles in history?

Uh, screenwriting 101 opportunity for cool shit here, Rod.

It's not surprising he doesn't exploit this. Lurie pretty much screws everything up. He drops the ball on all the brilliant religious allegory; he makes the evocative title literal and can't direct action to save his life. Where he really blows it is with the rape scene. In Peckinpah's original, it's shocking to see how Susan George expresses conflicting feelings of revulsion and lust when her ex-boyfriend rapes her.

This, Mr. Lurie, is called complex characterization. You, on the other hand have the somewhat moronic-looking Miss Bosworth ONLY reflecting revulsion when her ex forces himself upon her. I'd suggest, however, that the conflicting feelings Peckinpah displayed in the face of Susan George during the rape scene are precisely what plunged her into the sort of horror that would reside deep within for the rest of her life - especially when the culmination of succumbing to her ex-boyfriend results in being violated by his friend. Having all those feelings of anger at her husband, deep-seeded remembrances of the ex-boyfriend she once loved, having someone take charge in the lovemaking department are the things seared on her brain in Peckinpah's rendering and this is why audiences have never been able to forget the scene.

In comparison, Lurie's rape scene IS exploitative in the worst possible way. It’s lurid and nasty and in fact, simplifies everything so that her husband’s explosion at the end could be seen as inadvertent vengeance for the rape when, in fact, it is asserting his right as a man to defend his home, his family and his ideals. None of this comes through in Lurie’s version. Lurie has essentially transmogrified the tale into pornography – pure and simple. Anything resembling the deeper mechanics of story telling are ignored – as if they would sully the porn.

As well, Peckinpah's film is at its most bloodcurdling when it's quiet. Lurie replaces that with dull, meandering, misguided filler. This is no surprise. It’s exactly what happens when a hack is unleashed on remaking a classic that had no reason to be remade in the first place.

We've got enough hacks making movies and unlike Lurie and his particular ilk, at least many of those hacks have something resembling craft under their belts. Lurie has none. Under Lurie's belt lurks whatever's filling his lower intestines and waiting to be expunged into a toilet bowl.

I say: Loosen thine belt, Mr. Lurie.

Let it flow, brother.

Only next time, please try not taking a crap on someone like Sam Peckinpah.

"Straw Dogs 2011" is currently available on Bluray and DVD on Sony. Skip it and buy the Peckinpah which is available on a myriad of editions (new Bluray via MGM and amazing Criterion DVD).