Hiển thị các bài đăng có nhãn TIFF Midnight Madness. Hiển thị tất cả bài đăng
Hiển thị các bài đăng có nhãn TIFF Midnight Madness. Hiển thị tất cả bài đăng

Thứ Sáu, 26 tháng 9, 2014

MOEBIUS - Review By Greg Klymkiw - South Korean Maestro Delivers Ultimate Date Movie via VSC @TheRoyal

Moebius (2013)
Dir. Ki-duk Kim
Starring: Jae-hyeon Jo, Eun-woo Lee, Young-ju Seo

Review By Greg Klymkiw

Moebius is my idea of a perfect date movie because, frankly, any date who storms out of it in disgust is, quite simply, not someone you want to spend any time with anyway. Good riddance, I say! You don't like Ki-duk Kim? Find some loser who'll suffer through dinner at The Keg followed by a screening of The Fault in Our Stars.

Life's too short! Hasta la vista, baby! Granted, you might have to see Moebius by yourself, but that's just fine. Why see it with anyone unless you can see it with someone you truly love?

Love, by the way, is what this picture is all about. Love between a husband and wife, a husband and his mistress, a husband and his son and, well, in addition to a few other love couplings, each getting more perversely intense than the last, Moebius is ultimately focused upon the greatest love of all, love for a penis. Not just any penis, mind you. When a disgruntled wifey attempts to slice the penis off her philandering hubby, she's thwarted in her efforts by not quite being, uh, on the ball enough to do it properly. In frustration, she does the next best thing, she slices off the penis belonging to her teenage son. An aghast hubby thinks the penis might be salvageable, but wifey does what any Mother would do, she stuffs it in her mouth and eats it.

A teenage lad without a penis is a pitiful thing. He sprays urine all over his shoes in public washrooms, is teased by classmates and he can't even indulge in a gang rape properly. Dad teaches the lad how to make use of extreme self-inflicted pain as an erogenous zone and eventually does what any good father would do. Dad sacrifices his own penis so his Son can be a man again.

Alas, the penis truly belongs to Dad and can only give pleasure to those who received pleasure from it and can only receive pleasure from those who once pleasured it. Uh, Mom? We think you're needed in Sonny's boudoir.

To say Moebius might not be appreciated by everyone is probably an understatement, but it's a dazzlingly sickening and funny exploration of family, fidelity, love and, ultimately, the notion of anatomy taking on personal properties rooted (so to speak) in the spirit from whence it came.

The only guarantee I can ultimately offer, however, is that you'll have not quite seen anything like Moebius. The film is pitched to levels of extremity seldom matched and director Ki-duk Kim tells his perverse tale with no dialogue and plenty of over-the-top pantomime. This is nothing to discount. It's pure cinema!

THE FILM CORNER RATING: ***½ Three-and-a-half-Stars

Moebius is in limited release via VSC and is on display at Toronto's majestic Royal Cinema.

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Thứ Bảy, 13 tháng 9, 2014

THE GUEST - Review By Greg Klymkiw - TIFF MIDNIGHT MADNESS - TIFF 2014

Good thrillers
ALWAYS have
BABES & HUNKS

(in addition to
being, uh, good)

The Guest (2014)
Dir. Adam Wingard
Starring: Dan Stevens, Maika Monroe

Review By Greg Klymkiw

This creepy, edge-of-you-seat thriller is a cool contemporary take on Alfred Hitchcock's Shadow of a Doubt. It ain't Hitchcock (what is?) and The Master would never let scribe Simon Barrett get away with the disappointing, too-predictable "shocker" reveal that slides its way into the proceedings, but director Wingard more-than-ably puts his terrific thespians through decent blood-soaked gymnastics.

David's (Dan Stevens) an army pal of Caleb, a young fella who died bravely in battle. Returning from his tour of duty in lovely Afghanistan, he pays a surprise visit to the lad's grieving family to relay the verbal messages croaked out in his friend's death rattles. The family is so charmed by the handsome, but kind of "off" David, that he's invited into their home to stay as a guest.

Caleb's little sister, the babe-o-licious Anna (Maika Monroe, also leading the casting charge in It Follows) is certainly enamoured with David's buff, hunky good looks, but as the film progresses, she's able to see there's something not all together right with The Guest. Danger looms, as does the bloodletting.

When it's revealed that David might not entirely be telling the truth, she keeps her eye on him and eventually realizes her family might be at risk of being iced. This is not only a good deal for thriller fans, but it's a nice contemporary spin on Hitch's classic by utilizing the whole backdrop of psychos-in-the-army, post-traumatic stress disorder and, of course, America's ridiculous waste of human life in their moronic "war on terror".

Wingard's direction here is more taut and assured than his previous outing You're Next and even when the plot veers into please-don't-go-there territory (a similar problem that afflicted the aforementioned 2011 thriller), it's still a sheer delight to see how well the filmmaker manages the carnage, action and suspense. No need to be a total grumpy-pants like I was about the predictable turns eventually taken by the plot. The Guest is ultimately a corker of a thriller that'll more than satisfy one's need to accidentally expunge waste matter in one's panties.

THE FILM CORNER RATING: *** 3-Stars

The Guest is a Dfilms and Picturehouse release launching in TIFF's 2014 Midnight Madness series.

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Thứ Năm, 11 tháng 9, 2014

TUSK - Review By Greg Klymkiw - TIFF 2014 - TIFF MIDNIGHT MADNESS

WALRUS FETISHISTS
UNITE!
MANITOBA'S

INTERLAKE
A HOTBED
FOR TUSK LOVERS

FROM AMERICA!
Tusk (2014)
Dir. Kevin Smith
Starring: Michael Parks, Justin Long, Haley Joel Osment, Genesis Rodriguez, Johnny Depp

Review By Greg Klymkiw

Beware of Bifrost, Manitoba. If he's not careful, a dude can be turned into a walrus in that neck of the Interlake Region. In fact, that's what's been happening thereabouts in a remote mansion in the woods. It's the home of serial killer Howard Howe (Michael Parks), a crusty, poetry-spouting ex-seaman who, as a lad, was rescued from certain death by a walrus, but forced by hunger to eat his blubbery pal. Since that fateful day, Howe returned to his home in Canada and traversed the highways and byways above the 49th parallel, luring young men into his clutches, drugging them, then butchering them on an operating table in one attempt after another to create a walrus out of a human being. When Wallace Bryton (Justin Long), a crass American podcaster comes to Winnipeg, he finds his way into Howe's clutches. Though he's butchered beyond recognition, the lad might find salvation in the form of his best friend (Haley Joel Osmont), his hot girlfriend (Genesis Rodriguez) and a dogged Quebecois detective (Johnny Depp) with a penchant for Gimli Sliders. Now, if any of this sounds remotely stupid, that's because it is. Written and directed by Kevin (Clerks) Smith, one of the more prolific indie American directors, but aesthetically, one of the laziest, Tusk takes the booby prize for being the best film set in Manitoba, but filmed in North Carolina.

Other than 70s icon Michael Parks deliciously chewing the scenery with a few genuinely hilarious monologues penned by Smith and an almost unrecognizable Johnny Depp mugging his way through a pretty damn funny performance as the Joual-spouting inbred from La Belle Province, I can't actually say this is a particularly good movie, but it is intermittently damn entertaining.

Part of it is surely the idea of walrus-obsession. They're damn cute creatures and look uber-cuddly with those rolls of blubber, long whiskers, sad eyes and humungous tusks, so already the movie has a bit of a leg up on pretty much any other movie. As well, the picture is jam-packed with all manner of stereotypical references to Canada and that's always worth celebrating. In fact, Smith even has the appalling poor taste to provide a backstory (and monologue) for Michael Parks detailing his own character's childhood of painful sexual abuse in orphanages.

For some reason, though, I can't find it in me to take a dump on Smith for any of this since the movie alternately creeped me out and made me laugh. I do, however, fault him for continuing to be an unbelievably lazy filmmaker. The movie is a structural mess and goes on for at least 15 to 20 minutes too long, but if you're in the right frame of mind and/or a sick puppy and/or stoned out of your gourd and/or harbour a deep-seeded walrus fetish, there are certainly considerable pleasures to be had (including, YES! Fleetwood Mac doing "Tusk" on the soundtrack).

THE FILM CORNER RATING: **½ Two-and-a-half-stars

Tusk has its world premiere at TIFF 2014 in TIFF'S MIDNIGHT MADNESS.

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[REC]4 APOCALYPSE - TIFF 2014 - TIFF MIDNIGHT MADNESS - Review By Greg Klymkiw

A babe and bloodletting. Not much else.

[REC]4 Apocalypse (2014)
Dir. Jaume Balagueró
Starring: Manuela Velasco

Review By Greg Klymkiw

The terrific Spanish horror franchise [REC] has proven to be a consistently entertaining regular dose of zombie-infection madness since the first instalment burst upon the scene in 2007. The simple premise had babe-o-licious reporter Manuela Velasco and her crew following a rescue team into a decrepit Barcelona apartment complex where they're beleaguered by crazed zombies. The found footage conceit made perfect sense and worked beautifully.

Though the second instalment was decent, it felt like more of the same until the terrific third feature in the series which transposed us to a yummy blood spattered wedding that cleverly utilized wedding video footage. Alas, [REC]4 is the supposed final chapter, but it's a pale shade of what preceded it.

This time round we find ourselves stuck on a research ship with a whack of scientists conducting gruesome experiments to find an antidote for the infection. Onboard is Velasco, plucky and kick-ass as per usual, plus we get a few laughs out of the Dementia-afflicted matriarch from the [REC]3 wedding.

Our heroine, it seems, is carrying the gloopy-gloppy slithering parasite which is the infection's host. Complications predictably set in and the antidote is far from ready to go. Needless to say, the infection begins to afflict crew members and in no time we've got an all-out zombie-fest aboard ship. There's also the threat of a ticking time-bomb in the form of the ship's possible destruction in case the experiments go completely out to lunch.

It's a fair enough premise for this sort of thing, but the movie feels worn and tired-out. There's plenty of gore, but the scares and tension never adequately materialize since the movie is afflicted with a been-there-done-that "quality".

Worse yet, the found footage approach has been pretty much jettisoned, but for some reason, the whole movie is shot in the annoying and unjustifiable shaky-cam-herky-jerky ADHD-afflicted editing for absolutely no reason. The style feels sloppy and not-well-thought-out, resulting in plenty of yawn-inspiring moments.

Those looking for gruesome violence will not be disappointed, but anyone seeking genuine thrills and chills will feel they're simply in the wrong place at the wrong time. The movie bombards us with so much sound and fury that it finally adds up to much ado about nothing, save for bloodletting and not much more. The only positive note is the wonderful Velasco who is, as always, gorgeous and certainly worth eyeballing for ninety minutes.

THE FILM CORNER RATING: ** Two-Stars

[REC]4 is unspooling at TIFF 2014 in the Midnight Madness series. Visit the TIFF website HERE.

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Thứ Hai, 8 tháng 9, 2014

THE EDITOR - TIFF 2014 (TIFF MIDNIGHT MADNESS) - Review By Greg Klymkiw - Giallo4U

Udo Kier, tender lovemaking and a virgin bending over
in the triumphant new Astron-6 production that
presents more than a few things
you don't see everyday!
The Editor (2014)
Dir. Adam Brooks, Matthew Kennedy
Starring: Adam Brooks, Matthew Kennedy, Paz de le Huerta, Udo Kier, Laurence R. Harvey, Tristan Risk, Samantha Hill, Conor Sweeney, Brent Neale, Kevin Anderson, Mackenzie Murdock, John Paizs

Review By Greg Klymkiw

Okay, ladies and gents, strap-on your biggest vibrating butt-plugs and get ready to plop your ass cheeks upon your theatre seat and glue your eyeballs upon The Editor, the newest and most triumphant Astron-6 production to date and easily the greatest thrill ride since Italy spewed out the likes of Tenebre, Inferno, Opera, The Strange Vice of Mrs. Wardh, The Beyond, Strip Nude For Your Killer, Don't Torture a Duckling, Hitch-Hike, Shock, Blood and Black Lace, Twitch of the Death Nerve, Kill Baby Kill and, of course, Hatchet for the Honeymoon. You'll relive, beyond your wildest dreams, those films which scorched silver screens the world over during those lazy, hazy, summer days of Giallo. But, be prepared! The Editor is no mere copycat, homage and/or parody - well, it is all three, but more! Directors Adam Brooks and Matthew Kennedy have created a modern work that holds its own with the greatest gialli of all time.
Great giallo MUST HAVE babes screaming.
It's laugh-out-loud funny, grotesquely gory and viciously violent. Though it draws inspiration from Argento, Fulci, Bava, et al, the movie is so dazzlingly original that you'll be weeping buckets of joy because finally, someone has managed to mix-master all the giallo elements, but in so doing has served up a delicious platter of post-modern pasta du cinema that both harkens back to simpler, bloodier and nastier times whilst also creating a piece actually made in this day and age.

What, for example, can anyone say about a film that features the following dialogue:

BLONDE STUD: So where were you on the night of the murder?
BLONDE BABE: I was at home washing my hair and shaving my pussy.

Well, let me tell you what one can say to this sampling of dialogue thats's indicative of the film's approach to all things irreverent and original:

HALLELUJAH!!!
A TRUE Giallo Hero MUST sport
a stylish FRANCO NERO moustache
To the uninitiated, Giallo is the Italian word for "yellow". Its cultural significance is derived from pulp novels published in Italy with trademark yellow paperback covers. Giallo films are the cinematic expression of this literary tradition. The stories usually involve a psychopath (often wearing black gloves and other costume-like elements to hide his, and sometimes her, identity) who stalks and murders babes. All other kills are strictly of the opportunistic variety and usually include anyone who gets in the way (expected or not) of the killer's motives/quarry.

The movies are splashed with globs of garish colour, replete with cool jarring camera moves like quick pans, swish pans, zany zooms and a delightful abundance of shock cuts. The narrative ingredients will almost always include a hero whom everyone thinks is guilty, a few red herring suspects, disloyal and/or uppity wives, sweet young things to tempt cuckolded hubbies and detectives who are almost always on the wrong trail (some are decent-enough dicks), others well-meaning and others yet, are boneheads rivalling the Order of Clouseau. Studs and babes are de rigueur. Nudity and sex are almost always the norm. This is a world we ALL want to live in. (If "we" don't, "we" are dullards.) Into this time-honoured tradition comes The Editor. Its deceptively simple plot involves Rey Ciso (Adam Brooks, with the greatest Franco Nero moustache since Franco Nero). A once-prominent film editor who accidentally chopped four of his fingers off and now sports four hooks in their stead, covered by a stylish flesh-coloured, finger-shaped slipcover-like glove. His handicap, more often than not, forces him to edit with one hand.

Working for a sleazy producer, our title hero eventually becomes the prime suspect in a series of brutal murders perpetrated one-by-one against the members of the film's cast. The salient detail is that all the victims have had four of their fingers chopped off. If any of them had actually survived, they, like Rey, would suffer the indignity of being referred to as "the cripple".

To complicate matters, Rey has fallen head over heels for his beautiful, young assistant editor, but he tries to resist seducing her, even though at one point she demands, "Make me a woman." Rey, however, points out their age difference: "You are just a little girl. Play with the boys your own age."

Besides, he's locked into an unhappy marriage with a sexy, but spiteful has-been actress (Paz de le Huerta) - a harping shrew who openly cuckolds Rey. At one point, she admits to having eyes for one of the lead actors in the film Rey is editing. Our hero snidely quips, "What would you do if he died?" Wifey is outraged by his mind games and responds: "I would cry. I would cry. I would cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry, cry," and then adds, ""I would cry. I would. I would never, ever stop crying, you stupid cripple!"

Detective Peter Porfiry (Matthew Kennedy, also sporting a Nero 'stache), is hell-bent on finding the killer and upon first laying eyes on Rey, he suspiciously asks, "Who's he?" The sleazy producer makes a most gracious introduction: "That's the cripple, the editor." Porfiry, a lusty swordsman with a penchant for slapping his eager women on the face when they talk back, dogs poor Rey at every step. This is not the ideal situation for our hero since he has to keep editing around all the actors who keep getting murdered. Still, he handles the stress as well as could be expected and when he inadvertently lets an amusing comment slip out, the Producer happily announces: "Good one, Ray. I knew it would be fun having a cripple around."

As bodies pile up, Porfiry slaps together a brilliant undercover idea and manages to get his junior detective (Brent Neale) onto the film as the editor. Hapless Rey is being replaced by an Italian version of Jethro Beaudine. The producer tries to let Rey go graciously. "Honestly Ray," he says, "I thought it would be fun to have a cripple around, but I was dead wrong."

The Editor has all the makings of a horror classic. The writing is always sharp and delightfully mordant, the cinematography is first-rate - capturing all the near-fluorescent colours of gialli, the special effects are outstanding (and wonderfully over-the-top), and the musical score is a marvel of aurally rapturous 70s/80s-styled sleaze. Though the film appears to have a bigger budget than previous Astron-6 titles like Manborg and Father's Day, it's lost none of those pictures' independent spirit.
FUCHMAN, (from "Father's Day")
is up to his old shenanigans. 
Hell, we even get teased with a cameo by Mackenzie Murdock in the role of Fuchman ("ch" naturally pronounced like "k") the Daddy-Sodomizing serial killer of Father's Day. And speaking of actors, the cast of The Editor is to-die-for. Brooks is a terrific schlubby hero, Kennedy is suitably, sexily smarmy, the gorgeous Tristan Risk is a Giallo scream-queen incarnate, Brent Neale is galumphingly hilarious as the junior cop, Conor Sweeney (as per usual) dazzles us with his stunning pretty boy looks and utterly astounding ability to play a terrible actor and among many other astonishing thespians delivering spot-on work, the movie features Udo Kier, the greatest actor of all time, as a demented psychiatrist.
Giallo fans will recognize the source
of these specific images in "The Editor".
Finally though, the importance of this film in terms of Canadian Cinema, and cinema period, is that it's a genuine contemporary contribution to the exciting wave of prairie post-modernism that was spawned out of Winnipeg by the brilliant John Paizs (whose classic Crimewave has been given a gorgeous, TIFF-funded 2K restoration which will premiere at TIFF 2014 as well as The Editor).
John Paizs' CRIMEWAVE
the FATHER of Astron-6
Among other Winnipeg practitioners of the art of paying homage to genres and being the thing itself, the crazed Guy Maddin (Tales from the Gimli Hospital, Archangel, Careful, My Winnipeg) is also part of this tradition. Consider John Paizs as God the Father of Astron-6 and Guy Maddin as the collective's Uncle Jesus Christ.
Chainsaw VS. Conor Sweeney,
Axe VS. Tristan Risk
Who will Survive?

What will be left of them?
Brooks and Kennedy via the Astron-6 collective in Winnipeg have joined the ranks of the very best filmmakers to smash through the traditional boundaries of the medium and create work of genuinely lasting value. Best of all, though, The Editor is probably the coolest film you'll see this year and one you'll want to partake of again and again and yet again.

Cult classics never die. They get better and better.

THE FILM CORNER RATING: ***** 5-Stars Highest Rating

The Editor enjoys its World Premiere in the Midnight Madness series programmed by the brilliant Colin Geddes at the 2014 edition of the Toronto International Film Festival (TIFF 2014). For tix, times, dates and venues, visit the TIFF website by clicking HERE.

HEY YOU! If you want to buy any of the following movies, click directly onto the Amazon links below and keep-a-goin' until you checkout. All sales and ad-clicks on this site assist greatly with the ongoing maintenance of The Film Corner.
In Canada BUY the Astron-6 Short Film Collection HERE
In USA and the rest of the WORLD - BUY the ASTRON-6 Short Film Collection - HERE

In Canada BUY Astron-6's FATHER'S DAY - HERE

In USA and the rest of the WORLD - BUY Astron-6's FATHER'S DAY - HERE

In Canada BUY Astron-6's MANBORG - HERE

In USA and the rest of the WORLD - BUY ASTRON-6's MANBORG - HERE
A similar scene to the one experienced by Jim Jarmusch and others in New York during the 70s and 80s was also happening in Winnipeg at the same time and captured in the documentary BLANK CITY as well as many other works which appeared in the "Forgotten Winnipeg" series during the early winter of 2014. A very cool explosion in indie underground cinema that I and many colleagues and friends were involved with was spawned during these halcyon days. This period, coined by film critic Geoff Pevere as Prairie Post-Modernism, included the works of John Paizs, Guy Maddin, Greg Hanec and many others.


Another great film from Winnipeg during this period is Greg Hanec's extraordinary DOWNTIME which has the distinction of being a parallel cinematic universe to Jim Jarmusch's "STRANGER THAN PARADISE". Both films were made at the same time in two completely different cities and scenes and both Hanec and Jarmusch premiered their films at the same time at the Berlin Film Festival. One's famous, the other isn't - but now that the "lost" and "found" DOWNTIME has been remastered from original elements to DVD, it can now be purchased directly online.
Order DOWNTIME directly from the film's new website by clicking HERE
Perhaps the greatest Canadian independent underground filmmaker of all-time is Winnipeg's John Paizs. It's virtually impossible to secure copies of his astounding work which, frankly, is responsible for influencing the work of Guy Maddin, David Lynch, Bruce McDonald and an endless number of great indie filmmakers the world over. Paizs' great short film SPRINGTIME IN GREENLAND is available for purchase in a beautiful remastered edition from a fan website, the inimitable Frank Norman. Norman has Paizs' blessing to provide copies of the film, so feel free to directly make your request to Mr. Norman by clicking HERE.

Visit Frank Norman's CRIME WAVE
fan site by clicking HERE
Alas, it's super-impossible to get a copy of Paizs' masterpiece CRIME WAVE (not to be confused with the super-awful Coen Bros/Sam Raimi film of the same name that was released the same year Paizs' film was NOT released properly by its scumbag Canadian distributor Norstar Releasing, which eventually became Alliance Films (where the boneheads sat on the film and turned down several excellent offers from small indie companies to release the film properly on DVD in super-deluxe special editions because they lazily purported to be negotiating a massive package deal on its catalogue titles with some tiny scumbag public domain company that, as far as I can tell, has neither purchased nor released the film). This truly great and highly influential film is, no doubt, languishing in some boneheaded distribution purgatory within the deep anal cavities of the new owner of Alliance Films, a humungous mega-corporation called E-One. Feel free to repeatedly bug their stinking asses and demand a proper release. In the meantime, VHS copies of CRIME WAVE can still be found with the ludicrous title THE BIG CRIME WAVE and E-One has released CRIME WAVE on iTunes - hardly a proper way to view the film.

Thứ Tư, 3 tháng 9, 2014

IT FOLLOWS - TIFF 2014 (TIFF Midnight Madness) - Review By Greg Klymkiw


IT is transmitted sexually. IT follows. IT kills.
It Follows (2014)
Dir. David Robert Mitchell
Starring: Maika Monroe, Keir Gilchrist, Daniel Zovatto, Jake Weary, Olivia Luccardi, Lili Sepe

Review By Greg Klymkiw

It's early morning magic hour. A stately home rests quietly in a leafy suburb. The front door bursts open. A babe in her undies races outside, her melons bobbling. In no time at all, she'll be found horribly mutilated. Dead, in fact. Granted, we're in Detroit, one of the most poverty-stricken, crime-ridden and decrepit cities in America, but this grotesque sequence has played out in a bucolic setting, far away from the urban blight.

What gives?

Well, after this shocking preamble to David Robert Mitchell's It Follows, we meet our heroine Jay (Maika Monroe) and in no time we find out exactly what the deal is. She too lives in a 'burb o' Detroit and when she goes on a date with a hot hunk, she's so charmed, she hops into the back seat of his car, tosses off her panties and lets him deliver one right royal solid boning. As our babe lolls about in post-coital bliss, the hunk goes to the trunk to retrieve something. When he returns, he smothers the scantily clad missy with a chloroform-soaked rag. When she wakes up, he's got her strapped into a wheelchair - in her undies, 'natch. He forces her to look at something and what he shows her is so jaw-agape ghastly she can't quite believe her gorgeous eyes as she trains her gaze at IT.

Make no mistake, IT is real, alright, and now, IT is after her. According to the stud-hunk, the only way to get rid of IT is to pass IT on through sexual intercourse. He offers Jay a bit of solace when he says that IT should be no problem for her to pass on since, she's a girl and most any red-blooded male will want to nail her. Once she convinces her friends that she's cursed, they all make like Fred, Daphne, Velma, Shaggy and Scooby-Doo to get to the bottom of this mystery.

Delightfully enough, the notion of passing on the curse sexually allows for some added boinkage in addition to the carnage and shock-til-you-jump jolts. And, of course, the movie gives us IT.

IT is a formidable supernatural villain. If this is the first thing you've read about the movie, read no other reviews, puff pieces and any other literature which might provide TMI. It's a lot scarier, creepier and deliciously perverse if you go in without knowing anything more than this - IT follows you constantly and IT will kill you if IT catches you. If this happens, the curse reverts to afflicting the entire line of boinkers who've preceded you.

Though the movie doesn't quite go into the sickeningly, darkly hilarious territory of David Cronenberg's Shivers (which also featured a sexually transmitted horror), It Follows is a solidly directed shocker with plenty of homages to John Carpenter's output from the late 70s to early 80s. If Mitchell's screenplay is, save for its supremely original "villain", a bit too reliant on well-worn tropes of the genre, his filmmaking is both dazzling and assured. He's the real thing. He handles the proceedings with great style, visual flourish and far more intelligence than your run-of-the-mill horror-fest. Then again, it also has what any horror movie needs - babes, root-slipping and killing.

We even get some scary sojourns into the downtown decrepitude of Detroit. This stuff in the abandoned Detropia of Motor City is so creepy, one almost wishes most of it were set there. If Mitchell generates a sequel, maybe, just maybe, he'll oblige us. As someone who loves a good horror picture and having been conceived in Detroit, I, for one, can hardly wait. My drool is dripping and pooling up like the thick, crimson rivers of blood which permeate the ever-so-delightful It Follows.

THE FILM CORNER RATING: *** 3-Stars

It Follows enjoys a bang-up TIFF 2014 launch during the spectacularly fun Colin Geddes-programmed series Midnight Madness. For tickets, dates, venues and showtimes, visit the TIFF website HERE. The movie is being distributed in Canada by Mongrel Media.

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Thứ Sáu, 15 tháng 8, 2014

BLOOD GLACIER - DVD Review By Greg Klymkiw - Don't forget to wear your adult diapers while watching this!!!!!

NOTE: The Film Corner's Star Ratings will now appear at the end of the review.
BLOOD GLACIER (a Raven Banner presentation of a home entertainment DVD release from Anchor Bay Entertainment Canada and Anchor Bay) has it all. Check this out. It's got: Germans, mutants, Alps, a cute dog, a blood glacier, a balding unkempt alcoholic hero, snow, ice, weasel-like scientists, weird-ass shit under microscopes, thickly proportioned mean-ass German hausfraus, people who say "Ja" and "Nein!" a lot and who do things they shouldn't be doing because we know they're going to die but for some reason they can't figure that out, beefy hunks (for the ladies and light-in-the-loafers gents), babe-o-licious babes for the fellas and bull-dykes ('natch), mutants, guns, drills, claws, sharp teeth, open sores, English subtitles for those who do not sprechen ze deutsche and much, much more. Have I mentioned the mutants yet? Oh. Sorry. I have. BUT, have I mentioned the mutant Ibex? I thought not. Where else will you see a mutant Ibex? Only in Germany.

The majestic Ibex has a noble tradition in German Cinema. To the left you will see the lovely Leni Riefenstahl, former interpretive dancer and eventual
director of Triumph of the Will, clowning about with an Ibex on the set of a
Bergfilme by the legendary Dr. Arnold Fanck and to the right you will spy a
hungry Mutant Ibex in the bloody German shock-fest BLOOD GLACIER.
Blood Glacier (2013)
Dir. Marvin Kren
Starring: Madita (AKA Edita Malovčić), Hille Beseler, Gerhard Liebmann, Wolfgang Pampel, Brigitte Kren, Peter Knaack, Michael Fuith, Murathan Muslu, Adina Vetter, Coco Huemer, Felix Römer, Santos as Tinnie the dog

Review By Greg Klymkiw

Ladies and gentleman, in honour of Marvin Kren's utterly insane alpine thriller Blood Glacier, please join me now in raising - not our right hands, but, our heads, hearts and voices to the heavens to sing the following ditty to the tune of the stirring German National Anthem:

Deutschland, Deutschland über alles,
thank you for this very fine film,
we will worship all you have to offer,
even when it inspires incontinence,
we will spew forth,
from our sphincters,
whilst you do scare the living shit from us…"


Good creature features need BABES!
Luckily, as this is German, it has a fair share.
I believe, quite strenuously, that Raven Banner and Anchor Bay, the respective visionary international sales agents and distributors of genre films, both need to score a promotional tie-in with the Kimberly-Clark Company to provide free Depend® products so that audiences will not soil themselves whilst viewing such bowel-and-urinary-movement-inspiring scary movies not unlike the new mutants-in-the-Alps horror shocker Blood Glacier, courtesy of some (no doubt) crazed, yodelling, lederhosen-adorned German filmmakers. This is one fun ride and it's infused with more than enough elements to inspire unfortunate accidents of the voluminously expulsive kind.

Poor Tinnie, So Cute,
So utterly DOOMED!
A group of persnickety scientists studying the effects of climate change upon the glaciers of the Alps and Janek (Gerhard Liebmann), their slovenly, drunken jack-of-all-trades-technical-dude encounter difficulties with their communications satellite dish. Upon investigating the mystery they discover a huge glacier that looks like it's covered in frozen blood. Samples are taken, the satellite is repaired and - uh, oh - Janek's sweet, loyal and super-cute dog Tinnie is bitten by something in a cave. Getting back to the base station, Janek puts Tinnie under some covers, assuming his canine pal might have been bitten by a rabid fox. We in the audience know differently though, since we've seen many movies like this before. Even Janek suspects otherwise when the ice sample is discovered to be a mysterious entity that creates mutations.

The scientists express grave concern, not over a rabid fox or even other animals outside that have more than likely been infected by this mysterious entity. Rather, they're worried that a visiting delegation might decide not to come the next day if there's any hint at all of danger. More scientists, guides and an influential German Minister (a porcine battle-axe hausfrau type) are headed up to inspect the team's progress in order to assess the extension of funding for the environmental research activities at the alpine base station. Janek is appalled these supposedly good men and women of science would dare risk the safety of everyone for funding.

LOVE
means never having to say:
"
Bitte erlauben Sie mir,
Ihnen meine
 Wurst geben."

Well, things go deliciously awry from this point on. Needless to say, the conflict twixt Janek and the others mounts. Best of all, when one does the quick math on the delegation making its way up the mountain and the members of the research station, the movie yields more than enough characters to ensure an excellent body count. Both the monsters and situations are delightfully derivative of both Alien and John Carpenter's The Thing with just enough originality and environmental thematics to keep things fresh. The group dynamics are especially well evoked and as we meet more and more monsters, we're deep into this affair with more than a few dirty shirts.

We even get some perfunctory romance since the chief scientist coming for a visit is Janek's former lover - a babe, naturally.

Director Kren (Berlin Undead) more-than-ably handles the suspense, elicits strong performances from his cast and makes excellent use of the real alpine locations. He also juggles the character dynamics of Benjamin Hessler's decent screenplay (one which offers just the right balance of smarts and entertaining stupidity). The special effects are also a big treat - a total blast of the ingenious low budget variety mixed with a few dabs of cheesiness (nothing too egregious, though). All the picture's technical credits including cinematography, cutting and a cool score all rank above and beyond the call of duty for a semi-by-the-numbers creature feature.

There's nothing more DEADLY
than a hausfrau with a DRILL!
For me, as a fan of both horror movies AND the insane Bergfilme genre, best rendered by Dr. Arnold Fanck and starring Hitler's and Goebbels' favourite Aryan minx Leni Riefenstahl, Blood Glacier rendered me happily apoplectic. Kren's picture has more than its fair share of psycho touches to please any devoted, kitsch-seeking Teutophile. One of the film's most pleasurable moments involves the aforementioned porky hausfrau and her stunningly deft ability to wield a deadly and humungous drill. Most of all, the movie features what I believe to be a cinematic first - a vicious mutant Ibex. An IBEX, people! What in the bloody hell are you doing at home? Get out and see Blood Glacier. How often in your life will you experience an out-of-control Ibex in the German Alps?

Yeah, I thought so.

THE FILM CORNER RATING: *** Three-Stars

BLOOD GLACIER, a Raven Banner presentation of an Anchor Bay Entertainment Canada and Anchor Bay Films DVD on Aug. 19, 2014 with a fine new transfer. Sadly, the only extra feature is the original trailer. I'd have given my left testicle for a Marvin Kren commentary track. The movie enjoyed its World Premiere at TIFF's 2013 Midnight Madness. Here's some Amazon links to order Blood Glacier and some other delightful titles.







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