Thứ Ba, 6 tháng 8, 2013

CALL ME KUCHU - Review By Greg Klymkiw - Jesus was a carpenter, but He does not appear to have ever beaten homosexuals to death by crushing their skulls with hammers. This, however, did not stop Christians from committing this horrific act of murder upon an innocent man in the hallowed name of JESUS CHRIST.


Call Me Kuchu (2013) *****
Dir. Katherine Fairfax Wright, Malika Zouhali-Worrall

Review By Greg Klymkiw
Dear Christians (substitute your organized religion of preference):

You are NOT Christians if you practice what Jesus Christ (substitute your deity of choice here) did NOT preach. You are little more than ignorant, hate-filled, hate-mongering, mean-spirited and quite possibly insane acolytes of Satan (whom I realize is a fairy-tale creature not unlike equivalent prevaricated notions of God, but SO real to the ignorant that He - or they - might as WELL exist).

Your hatred is so deep-seeded and foul that it not only inspires deep sadness in those who recognize it, but can also reduce those same individuals to an equivalent level of hatred towards YOU.

Yes, YOUR hatred BREEDS hatred - not only that which affects those you seek to castigate, but those who would be sickened to one day look in a mirror and discover that hatred is etched upon their own faces - towards YOUR ignorance, of course.

There is, however, no room for hatred of ANY kind.

With respect, Greg Klymkiw
Try as I might, I can't even come close to maintaining any sort of critical balance in what's proven to be a very difficult film to write about. My attempts to put any words down have been thwarted by tears whenever I need to recall moments from this brave, important work of documentary filmmaking.

Call Me Kuchu tells the story of those brave people in Uganda who exposed themselves to ridicule, scorn, abuse and murder when their government began to draft legislation (not surprisingly with the assistance of AMERICAN Christians) calling for the criminalization of homosexuality as a capital offence. (Lifetime imprisonment for being gay IS. in my humble opinion, tantamount to legalized first-degree murder.)

Though sadness courses through me in an almost debilitating fashion whilst considering the virtues of a work of art that details how low the world has plunged, it would be remiss of me to ignore that many of my aforementioned tears are positive outpourings. Ultimately, it is the heroism of those victims depicted in the film which inspires hope - elation, if you will, that's beyond my wildest dreams.

If it proves anything, Call Me Kuchu proclaims - LOUD AND CLEAR - that there are good people in this world who DO make a difference, even though the vast majority seem irredeemably susceptible to the barrage of hatred perpetrated by power brokers. The film provides both platforms and they are equally chilling and harrowing, but make no mistake - no matter how much of the film seems almost liturgical in its portrayal of suffering, it is a movie about sacrifice of the most positive kind.

Certainly the sacrifice of one of the movie's central figures, a gay man who is the first person in Uganda to come out and publicly announce his homosexuality, is nothing if not Christ-like.

The movie opens with a private, secret celebration of the love between two men - the closest we'll see in Uganda to a "wedding anniversary" between a same-sex couple. There is a cake, there are smiles, there are hugs and kisses - actions of tenderness. These are juxtaposed with images of Christian and political leaders spitting venom of verbal hatred towards homosexuals "in the name of Jesus".

Jesus, however, would weep. His name is clearly being taken in vain.

Some might argue that such an opening is obvious and manipulative and they'd not necessarily be wrong. This doesn't mean it's clumsy and/or dishonest filmmaking - it is, in fact, the very vital sledge hammer of artistic righteousness that many of our best films possess. The hatred that consumes Uganda towards homosexuality is not only uncharitably un-Christian, but it flies in the face of love and in particular the purity of love as preached by Jesus Christ.

The film is effectively structured for both maximum dramatic impact and as a document of a truly despicable period of contemporary history. It introduces us to several important figures during this recent battle and we experience the story as it actually unfolded (and continues to unfold).

We meet activists who put their freedom and lives on the line to defend the basic human rights of homosexuals in a country that - by law - does not regard sexual choice beyond a traditional nuclear family as a human right at all. In fact, homosexuals are not even viewed as human, but chattel gone wrong and in need of extermination.

As the narrative plunges us ever forward, we learn that the Bill proposes life imprisonment for all homosexuals and the death sentence for all acts of "aggressive" homosexuality (defined as constant and non-curative acts of "aberrant" behaviour). It calls for prison sentences to anyone who knowingly does not report homosexuals to the authorities (including parents and other loved ones of said homosexuals) and shockingly, makes AIDS/HIV testing illegal.

The fear-mongering includes the "facts" that family values are under attack, that the "homosexual agenda" is to recruit children to homosexuality and, of course, to rape children. Even the media in Uganda joins the fight against the "Gay Scourge" by outing homosexuals in print. This leads to innocent people - whose names and photographs are published in Uganda's leading newspaper - to be hunted down on the streets and beaten (and outright murdered). Even the clergy joins the bandwagon - prominent American evangelical leaders are invited to speak at rallies to incite even more hatred. The few Ugandan religious leaders who assist homosexuals are defrocked by their churches. One Bishop is stripped of his powers for helping homosexuals in their fight for basic human rights

And yes, rape does occur amongst homosexuals - only they're the recipients of it. The government encourages brave, virile men to rape lesbian women in order to cure them.

The most compelling tale told, though, is that of an activist who is eventually beaten to death by Christians who bash his skull in with hammers.

The last time I checked, Jesus was a carpenter, but I do not believe he hammered anything but wood. In Uganda, as in Russia and America, Jesus does not turn the other cheek. He commits murder.

Enjoy.

"Call Me Kuchu" is in theatrical release via Kinosmith.

Thứ Hai, 5 tháng 8, 2013

BAD MILO - Review By Greg Klymkiw - The tender tale of an anal intruder that kills. Namaste!!! Canadian premiere of new scat cult classic at Toronto Premiere, One Screening Only Thurs, Aug 29, 7pm, Seating from 6.30pm at Scotiabank Theatre, 259 Richmond St. W. Door. Restricted 18+ $13 Gen, $11 Students, Multipacks: $9.50 if buy 2+, $9 if buy All 4 Spotlight Films. Advance Tix at Cineplex.com. (Premiered at FanTasia 2013 Film Festival in Montreal) via Video Service Corp. (VSC)


Bad Milo (2013) ***1/2
Dir. Jacob Vaughan
Starring: Ken Marino, Gillian Jacobs, Peter Stormare, Patrick Warburton, Stephen Root, Mary Kay Place, Kumail Nanjiani, Jonathan Daniel Brown

Review By Greg Klymkiw

Are you fond of scatological humour? Do you find farts, faecal matter and good old fashioned anal action of interest? Do you seek solace in globs of blood and excrement splashing across the screen? Well, hang onto your ass-hats.

Bad Milo is the most preposterously priceless gross-out laugh-riot I've seen this year. Furthermore, what is simply inarguable is that this exhilarating, almost rapturous comedy is replete with juicy slabs of exquisitely marbled prime-cut horror, featuring the most odious, stench-ridden, bloodthirsty, flesh-slurping and downright disgusting monster in recent cinema history. That the big-eyed, razor-toothed rectal-cavity-dwelling title creature is also E.T.-Mogwai-cute, is the veritable pièce de résistance of this putridly satisfying vat of raw, untreated sewage. Bad Milo is a glorious non-stop barrage of celluloid wet farts aimed directly at your olfactory senses and leading straight to your funny bone.

At the outset of this crazed cult-classic-in-the-making, screenwriters Benjamin Hayes and Jacob Vaughan plunge us immediately into a terrifying P.O.V. of an angry, growling creature as it chases Ken (Ken Marino), nipping at his heels just before our hero bolts into relative safety and warns his babe-o-licious wife Sarah (Gillian Jacobs) to hide and lock herself in the basement - no matter what happens. As the creature on the other side of the closed door is about to batter its way through, we're zapped back in time as the title cards announce: "123 hours earlier."

A florid aural bleat leads us to a radiologist squirting globs of gelatin on Ken's abdomen to perform an ultrasound. He and Sarah are visiting with a specialist to determine the cause of recent stomach troubles and to see if they're in any way related to Ken's potency issues. The doctor examines the sonogram and asks Ken if he's been under any pressure. Well, aside from the pressure building up in his colon, Ken is rising up the ranks of an accounting corporation under the direct supervision of Phil (Patrick Warburton), a sleazy, loyalty-demanding taskmaster who holds all manner of juicy carrots under the young man's nose to inspire the performance of any number of dubious duties in return for eventual advancement opportunities.

The specialist determines that Ken has a polyp deep inside his poop chute which, he claims, is probably the result of poor stress management. He asks Ken how much time he spends in the bathroom on a daily basis to expunge his faecal matter. Ken responds, “I’m in the bathroom a lot, but it’s not extreme.” The look on Sarah's face says otherwise, so Ken comes clean (so to speak) and admits he averages 90 minutes on the crapper over the course of a day.

The specialist utters quite the understatement: "This is hugely concerning."

No matter.

The good doctor recommends an Endoscopic polypectomy, an especially horrific experience (to which I can personally attest after a few trips to the appropriately named Rudd Clinic in Toronto) wherein a huge pole is inserted into the anus and a snake-like camera wends its way through the colon until the polyp is spotted and a steel lasso takes hold of the distasteful growth and, in the rather over-zealous specialist's description, "pops it like a plum off a tree."

Ken's job until the procedure is to rest and stay stress-free. This proves easier said than done: things are heating up at work whilst Ken's bowel-movement-and-fertility-obsessed Mom (the legendary Emmy-Award winning Mary Kay Place who portrayed Loretta Haggers on Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman) drives him completely nuts. Pressures mount so considerably that Ken's nightly trysts with the matrimonial toilet bowl are so fraught with grunts, groans, screams and noisy expulsions of gas that his beautiful wife goes to bed alone, unsatisfied, but at least able to sleep through the cacophonous bowel movement exertions thanks to the wads of foam plugs she jams deep into her ears.

In desperation, Ken agrees to meet with the unconventional New Age therapist Highsmith (Peter Stormare, unforgettable as Steve Buscemi's laconic, psychopathic partner in crime in the Coen Brothers' Fargo). What's discovered here is Ken's worst nightmare. Actually, it would be anyone's worst nightmare. A rare, ages-old demon has manifested itself directly from Ken's stress and is prime to murder anyone causing undue pressure to our hero. When Ken releases the demon, it's like he's taking a really painful crap, but once it's out, great relief follows.

It doesn't take long for the carnage to begin - punctuated every so often with ultra-extreme rectal activity. Though Ken's poop monster is slowly eradicating everyone causing him stress, the last thing our hero wants is for people to die - especially those who are closest to him.

The laughs come fast and furious, the gore is geyser-like and eventually the film builds to a climax that is as hilarious as it is downright suspenseful. Yet, for all its gross-out qualities, you might be shocked to discover that the writing is as clever as it is disgustingly on (and in) the nose - yes, at its core, the movie is both a love story and a father-son story - with poo, bum and fart gags, of course.

Though co-writer Jacob Vaughn's direction might lack the glorious panache of a Sam Raimi or Brian De Palma, he handles both the comedy and suspense with assurance, impeccable craft and exuberance. Someone also had the good taste to secure and encourage the brilliant music by Ted Masur, who delivers a score that's reminiscent of the work of Pino Donaggio, Angelo Badalamenti and John Carpenter all mashed into a glorious casserole of homage, satire and straight-up scary music styling.

Last, but not least, the design and execution of Milo himself is a thing of unparalleled low-budget beauty and ingenuity. He's a great monster. And yes, he kind of looks like a blob of poo - only with eyes, ears, mouth, teeth and various appendages allowing him to claw, scratch, tear and run like the wind. Like poo, when Milo dives into the comfort of Ken's anus, he's gently reminded, "Be safe in there. Don’t rip anything." When we were first told during the 1978 release of Richard Donner's Superman, "You will believe a man can fly," Bad Milo proclaims: "You will believe that a flesh-eating demon can live comfortably in a man's asshole."

Most importantly, if you ever wanted to see a movie in which the legendary Peter Stormare utters the line: "Maybe your anus is just like a vagina," then I can undoubtedly assure you that Bad Milo is a motion picture that has your name written all over it.

"Bad Milo" is a VSC release and plays Toronto Premiere, One Screening Only

Thurs, Aug 29, 7pm, Seating from 6.30pm at Scotiabank Theatre, 259 Richmond St. W. Door. Restricted 18+
$13 Gen, $11 Students, Multipacks: $9.50 if buy 2+, $9 if buy All 4 Spotlight Films. Advance Tix atCineplex.com.

 enjoys its Canadian premiere at the FanTasia 2013 Film Festival in Montreal.

Chủ Nhật, 4 tháng 8, 2013

BERBERIAN SOUND STUDIO - Review By Greg Klymkiw - Toby Jones overshadows Berberian Pretensions


Berberian Sound Studio (2012)
dir. Peter Strickland **1/2
Starring: Toby Jones
Review By Greg Klymkiw

Sound has been with movies almost from the beginning. Long before Al Jolson uttered the immortal words "You ain't heard nothin' yet" in 1927's The Jazz Singer, filmmakers experimented with having original scores composed for their films and even designing live foley and sound effects - all of which were achieved by full orchestras for some of the bigger releases in more established picture palaces. Once the "talkies" came, though, a whole new art and craft began to develop - not just synch sound recordists on set, but all the magicians in the sound studios who created effects, mixed and tweaked the sound and edited the sound.

In this day and age, sound has become, for better or worse (and depending on the film), the primary instigation for how, why, where and when to actually make picture cuts in genre pictures. Sadly, far too many contemporary directors that have absolutely no eye for creating decent action or suspense sequences, rely solely on sound to make up for their lack of talent. Or rather, they think they know precisely what they're doing and have their butts saved by editors as well as the low standards of audiences all afflicted with ADD.

One dreadful (and idiotically overrated) director after another (Christopher Nolan and JJ Abrams to name two especially egregious members of this ever-expanding club of dimwits), piece together a wide variety of badly composed, poorly conceived and mostly close shots, throw them into the post-production blender where picture editors must save the miserable footage by using sound as the driving force behind their cuts rather than propelling the image forward to hit dramatic beats. The moron directors think it's all about pace and creating suspense from cacophony when in actual fact, this style of shooting and cutting exhausts an audience to a point where watching the film has less to do with being able to follow a story as it is to be whacked repeatedly in the face.

We're bludgeoned and pummelled senselessly by sound and a whole whack of great artists and craftspeople in this field are turned into volume (of the amount AND level of audio variety) generators.

While, there are a number of great movies about movies, the only one that brilliantly and perfectly captures the art of sound men is still Brian DePalma's seminal thriller Blow Out which starred John Travolta as a movie sound recordist who tries to solve a mystery using the location sound he's recorded. (The Conversation counts as a great "sound" picture, but its focus is surveillance rather than the movies.)

Berberian Sound Studio could have been the best movie about sound in movies since DePalma's mournful thriller, but finally, it achieves that for about 30 of its 92 minutes until it starts spinning its wheels and diving into bargain basement Lynch-like surrealism and sledge hammer (albeit somewhat disingenuous) commentary on the effects of screen violence.

But, first, let's concentrate on the good.

Set during the heyday of Italian horror/suspense thrillers of the 70s, the picture tells the tale of Gilderoy (Toby Jones), a pathologically introspective sound man (which, ultimately, all great sound guys must be). He's as twee and British as Queen Elizabeth (but not quite as inbred) and he's taken a job presiding over the aural arts being applied in post-production to the latest blood-spattered giallo epic by Santini (Antonio Mancino), the reigning maestro of spaghetti horror.

At first, the film is a loving homage to the magnificent giallo genre and a great fish out of water tale. As Gilderoy works his sound magic on this ultra-violent and decidedly misogynistic gore-fest, things slowly and creepily build (not unlike the best Polanski) to a point where dream, reality and nightmare collide and eventually cross a line where we're experiencing a potential mental breakdown.

Alas, once the picture crosses over into this territory, tedium starts to set in. It's too bad. Toby Jones delivers a crackling good performance, whilst the production design and cinematography go above and beyond the call of duty in creating an atmosphere that seems like it was ripped out of the single greatest movie decade in the history of movies. But, as sure as Dario Argento is Italian, Gilderoy's mind starts to crack under the weight of the long hours, a xenophobic attitude (on both sides of the equation) and image after image of the most brutal violence against women.

What's a bit disappointing is that this is our expectation almost from the beginning and our hope, because the first half hour IS so cool and atmospheric (and a movie geek's wet dream), is that it will not veer into familiar territory. As such, the movie feels like a short film idea stretched out interminably over 90 minutes.

It was fun, however, being in a sound studio that bore all the familiar traces of what it was like to work with real film, mag stock and optical. No digital allowed, thanks! Weirdly, though, the most disappointing aspect next to the by-the-numbers surrealism is the fact that the movie SOUNDS like most movies today.

Oh, how I wish it all sounded like a great centre-speaker mono mix with that gentle hiss that can only emanate from optical and analog sound. If Berberian Sound Studio truly had the courage of its convictions - it should have adhered to every element of the period.

A good script might have worked wonders, also.

"Berberian Sound Studio" originally played during the Toronto International Film Festival's 2012 edition of the Vanguard series. It is currently in theatrical release via FilmsWeLike. In Toronto, it is playing at the TIFF Bell Lightbox.

Thứ Bảy, 3 tháng 8, 2013

THE CANYONS - Review By Greg Klymkiw - I've always liked Lindsay Lohan. Now she has a role. And a director.


The Canyons (2013) ***1/2
Dir. Paul Schrader

Starring: Lindsay Lohan, James Deen, Nolan Funk, Amanda Brooks, Tenille Houston, Gus Van Sant

Review By Greg Klymkiw

A movie bubbling over with scumbags is almost, on that basis alone, reason enough to see it. "Almost" is the operative word here, however, for when said movie is also obsessive and mightily endowed with a sharp eye for both the dregs of humanity and the utter emptiness of its milieu, I'm compelled to assert we're getting somewhere. Finally.

Furthermore, when the decomposing world such a film focuses its beady eyes upon is imbued with a tone of despair that's equalled only by the degrees of decay wafting from within its mucilaginous vessel, then I'm delighted to recognize we're in the much-needed presence real filmmakers. At the very least, we're accosted by a snake-oil purveyor (director Paul Schrader) and his spuriously, though convincingly ailing beard (screenwriter Bret Easton Ellis) who both oblige us with something - ANYTHING - to fill the void normally compelling us to view machine-tooled work outside their ambitious purview; an entire summer of product that's essentially been cobbled together by committees of business school dunces aimed squarely at masses of illiterate, unwashed and taste-bereft miscreants.

Oh, I know what you're thinking here: "The lady doth protest too much, methinks."

Methinks you'd be wrong.


The Canyons is, if anything, not full of fake angst to drive an otherwise useless series of attempts at saving the world. Even better, it's not engorged with the fake indie tropes of feel-goodery. It is, without question, populated with fakes (and fakery) and as such, we can be secure in the realization that there really isn't anything worth saving - especially in a world wherein every second movie protagonist is imbued with superhuman powers (and feels bad about it) or worse, movies wherein budding geeks find loser mentors they can really relate to (way, way back in the boonies, 'natch). It is, as we hear in Full Metal Jacket, Kubrick's astonishing Vietnam war picture, a "world of shit" and director Paul Schrader seems only too eager (in cahoots with Ellis, the American Psycho/Less Than Zero scribe himself) to force feed us even more faecal matter than we'd ever have imagined ingesting.

The movie is pure, unexpurgated emptiness - so much so that it's even book-ended with no mere ennui of perversion in the singular, but two - count 'em - TWO items of equal levels of emptiness to prop up all the emptiness in between. The first assails us with sad images of abandoned movie theatres and the second involves scenes of chi-chi dinner dates in trendily overpriced and vapidly upscale L.A. bistros. For me, these both seem - especially in their role as bookends to nothingness, more-than-adequate indicators of Western Civilization's collapse and in so doing, represent more than valid backdrops for drama.

Tara (Lindsay Lohan) and Christian (James Deen) are a seemingly loving young couple living the high life in Lotus Land. HE is a typical little rich boy who placates his family by being a movie producer so they actually think he does something more than, well, uh, nothing - save for endlessly schwance-dipping, ingesting booze and drugs, partying, clubbing, dining and holding swingers' mini-orgies in his mansion. SHE is his compliant partner in all things hedonistic - ready and willing to spread 'em when the delightfully-named Christian brings a variety of attractive Backpage Ad singles and couples to dive into the sack with them (whilst recording the trysts on his smart phone).

Ah, the banality of the rich and aimless.

Gina (Amanda Brooks) is an insufferably earnest filmmaker receiving financing for her pathetic straight-to-VOD movie from producer Christian. She's even bamboozled her sex-obsessed money-bags into agreeing that her marginally talented would-be actor boyfriend Ryan (Nolan Funk) can have the forgettable lead role in her forgettable movie.

Here's the rub (and tug): Tara used to boink Ryan - they were young and in love, but they were also poor. Tara dumped Ryan and promised her undying subservience to Christian. Ryan, a loser, did what losers do best. He hooked up with the marginally successful filmmaker Gina.


Christian is generally satisfied with Tara's acquiescence to his every banal sexual demand, but he does keep a bit on the side, a normally compliant vixen by the name of Cynthia (Tenille Houston) who is, unfortunately, getting a bit too demanding. I mean, Jesus! When she lets Christian bone her (and let's not forget that actor James Deen is an extremely well-endowed cocksman of the highest order - a genuine porn star stud), she gets all uppity and downright high and mighty that Christian will hide his salami in her vagina, but refuse to kiss her.

It doesn't take long for all the above to be dinking and getting dinked by each other, but also unbeknownst to each other. The spanner in the works - as we find out during his analysis sessions with psychiatrist Gus Van Sant - is that Christian is not only power-hungry, jealous and banal, but a bonafide psychopath. He also knows all too well what's going on.

Shit, as it were, is definitely going happen and believe you me, it's going to stink to High Heaven.

What I enjoyed most about this movie is that the screenplay is chockfull of melodramatic elements that are brazenly lifted from other periods of film history (50s noir and 70s existential angst grindhouse fare the clear inspirations), but none of it is played in an annoyingly cloying post-modernist fashion with tongue planted firmly in cheek. The picture is played straight-up in a contemporary setting.

If anything creeps in of a vaguely post-modern nature, The Canyons comes closest in its look to a kind of grimy throwback to Schrader's own American Gigolo (basically an extended 80s music video with lots of sex as if directed by Robert Bresson on lithium).


Lindsay Lohan is, at her core, a very fine actress. Her child star days betrayed a talent and screen presence that not only delighted millions of little girls (including my own daughter), but seemed to suggest that her best work was yet to come. Sadly, this did not happen. Hers became the typical child star life of one error in bad judgement after another - including being mismanaged into one awful movie (Labor Pains, anyone?) after another, an occasional terrific performance in movies well below her gifts (I Know Who Killed Me being a perfect example) as well as a real-life judicial witch hunt which kept landing her in hot water with the law. She shone in A Prairie Home Companion in ways that suggested things would work out for her, but was mostly and sadly relegated to small and big screen supporting roles exploiting her "freak value". (I do love Machete, but it's a coin toss as to whether she's genuinely playing a real character or exploited into playing a shadow of herself).

Recently, I actually kind of enjoyed her performance as Elizabeth Taylor in the inexplicably reviled TV movie Liz and Dick. I stress inexplicable since what few TV movies I bother to watch are, more often than not, pretty godawful anyway. This one was kind of fun in that cheesy Hollywood biopic fashion that reminded me of the equally reviled 70s Gable and Lombard (which, yeah, was a piece of crap, but a supremely entertaining one).

Here, Lohan has a decent role and is working with a fine director. Her performance is replete with femme-fatale-gone-ass-backwards qualities (intentionally so) and she expresses the kind of pain and vulnerabilities the character would in both life and within the context of this film and Ellis's writing. It is, in fact, a very moving performance. Many of us - especially in the entertainment industry - know sad figures like Tara. Most will dismiss these exploited, messed-up boy toys as being unworthy of even empathy, but those who do are - well, they're assholes.

Lohan invests the role with genuine emotion - it might not always jive with the emotions of blankness that audiences and, of course, pseuds (mostly the raft of know-nothings who are accepted as genuine film critics) are unused to giving credit to when its due, but she's very brave here and my heart went out - not to the Lohan who might well know or feel elements of Tara within herself and/or those she's encountered in the industry's assembly line of hangers-on, but in fact, to the character.


I also loved the rest of the cast. James Deen is perfect as someone so bereft of humanity that he is, indeed, all too human. He's kind of a Schraderian Ulrich Seidl figure. Funk, Brooks and Houston all acquit themselves perfectly within the milieu Ellis writes and that Schrader renders with his almost trademark stylish and stylized rigidity. The only cast member who feels like a bad in-joke gone worse is the weirdly phoned-in thesping of director Gus Vsn Sant. This approach might well have been intentional, but kind of sticks out like a sore thumb - swollen, so to speak as it's jammed up the proverbial bum. Of course, I've yet to read any reviews (as is my wont before actually seeing movies and writing about them). I do know that most film "critics" hated The Canyons. I know enough about this because of what is, in this day an age, the misplaced lazy barrage of movie marketing that foists out far too much magic-sucking information. Even more egregious, at least for my money, is knowing that a number of typically pretentious cultural gatekeepers of cinema on the film festival film programming circuit chose to reject it from inclusion within their pristine events - due, purportedly, to creative issues.

Knowing what pieces of crap many of them chose to play instead of The Canyons, allows me to sit high atop my perch of disdain for these tasteless, talentless boneheads who sickeningly see themselves as - ahem - curators.

Without even reading the notices, I can already predict the dull whiners kvetching about how the movie has no characters they like or can, in some fashion, relate to. When they do that, it just betrays what pathetically insular lives they've led and how dull and unimaginative and lacking in anything resembling the critical acumen necessary to look beyond the surface of "unpleasant" characters to discover, as the film does, the humanity pulsating beneath that which appears to be empty. Not that she was a critic, but I still bristle when I recall the words of a cultural bureaucrat who moronically asserted that the central character of EVERY film had to be someone she wanted to have dinner with. All I could think of when I heard this is that I'd certainly enjoy having dinner with HER, but only if I could belch, regurgitate and fart all the way through our pleasant time together (and, for good measure, offer her a bowl of my regurgitate with a spoon).

I doubt many WOULD want to dine with the characters in The Canyons, but frankly, it would be their loss.

The Canyons is a picture that will obviously not be to the taste of many, but I suspect it will attract its deserved fair share of admiration from an exclusive club of those who aren't full of shit and actually know a good picture when they see it. We're the lucky ones. All the rest are the desperate, sad-eyed craps rollers who lose bigtime as they endlessly toss their dice upon a street corner sidewalk, not unlike an inebriate who might toss the bile-filled cookies emanating from an empty gullet as they hug the scum encrusted toilet bowl of a water closet situated in the sleaziest dive imaginable.

It is, I believe, called the dry heaves. They can keep 'em, thanks. I prefer my vomit to be full-bodied.

"The Canyons" is in limited theatrical release and available on all the usual VOD and streaming formats via Mongrel Media. If you have a chance to see it on a big screen - Torontonians can do so at the TIFF Bell Lightbox - I urge you to taste your first helping out in the world, rather than at home.

Thứ Sáu, 2 tháng 8, 2013

CLEAR HISTORY - Review By Greg Klymkiw - Horrors! I've finally discovered something good on TV.


Clear History (2013) ***1/2
Dir. Greg Mottola

Starring: Larry David, Jon Hamm, Bill Hader, Philip Baker Hall, Kate Hudson, Michael Keaton, Danny McBride, Eva Mendes, Amy Ryan

Review By Greg Klymkiw

I think some context might be necessary before I begin with my thoughts on the movie at hand. In 2009 I saw Woody Allen's Whatever Works - a picture I loved thoroughly, even though it was probably a script he'd piled up in a desk drawer with a whole mess of others he'd never managed to get around to shooting. It featured Boris Yelnikoff, a typically misanthropic Allen character I'd come to know, love and trust over the decades - mostly because it made me feel less alone knowing that other people felt as bemusedly disdainful of their own species as I usually did.

Aside from looking into a mirror, it was fun seeing a by-now almost de rigueur stand-in for Allen in the form of another actor. In this case, it was Larry David. What hit me like a ton of bricks was just how much I loved this hilariously rancourous dude who, ensconced somewhere in the half century point of his life was clearly an enormous talent who'd only now been discovered by the inimitable Woody Allen. I thought, how could someone as brilliant as this Larry David guy fallen below the world's radar? How could I have never remembered him from any of the 30,000+ feature films I'd seen over the course of my life? Ah well, I doffed my proverbial cap in Allen's direction for sniffing out and showcasing him to the world.

When I did an internet search later that evening, I was agog - simply agog! Larry David, was already a star. As someone who pretty much stopped watching television in 1982, why would I know this unless the guy had appeared in a substantial role in a real movie? This was, after all, only 2009 and though I should have remembered his cameos in Allen's Radio Days and the "Oedipus Wrecks" segment of New York Stories, I did not. At that point, we were still three years away from the Farrelly Brothers monumental work of art, The Three Stooges, wherein Mr. David appeared as the beleaguered Sister Mary Mengele - a phenomenal gender-bending performance that made utter mincemeat out of Dustin Hoffman in Tootsie, Robin Williams in Mrs. Doubtfire and Emma Thompson in Nanny McPhee (and pretty much every other movie Thompson appeared in).


I discovered Mr. David was the creator and chief writer of the TV series Seinfeld, but as I had only seen one episode of that show (in a hotel room during a channel hopping spree) and had never even heard of Curb Your Enthusiasm until that fateful internet search, all I knew was that Woody Allen discovered Larry David and cast him in the lead role of the laugh-out-loud non-stop knee-slap-fest called Whatever Works.

So, let us now fast forward to 2013. I was very much interested in seeing Steven Soderbergh's Behind the Candelabra with Michael Douglas as Liberace. Alas, I was not free to see it on a big screen during the Inside Out GLBT Film Festival and was forced to watch it - egads! - on a screener on television. I reviewed it (HERE) and loved it and even lamented that it was not being released theatrically as it was a real movie - something TV stopped doing well in the 1970s (Spielberg's Duel, et al).

Perhaps I was being too harsh. In spite of endless recommendations from friends and colleagues that there were things on contemporary TV I would like, if not love, I kept experiencing one disappointment after another like The Sopranos (bargain basement Scorsese), Deadwood (bargain basement Peckinpah), Mad Men (a bargain basement amalgam of Sirk, Tashlin and Sweet Smell of Success), Dexter (a false, foul and unfunny black comedy for people who only pretend to like black comedy) and last, but not least, Mildred Pierce (the most dull, uninteresting work from the great director Todd Haynes that I'd ever seen in my life).

Kvetch, kvetch, kvetch! The mind is a terrible thing to waste. I decided my mind required some spring cleaning. With the very kind assistance of a publicist from Canada's The Movie Network, Ellery Ulster (who also bears one of the greatest names in the western world - I mean, really - Ellery Ulster!!??!! I'd kill to have a monicker like that!!! Second only to J.J. Hunsecker and/or Sidney Falco, mais non?) I was generously barraged this summer with a bevy of made for TV delights.

Among them, the first episodes of the final season of Dexter did not sway me to think positively about it, The Newsroom does little for me (though I suppose it could, yet) and whilst the first four episodes of Ray Donovan feature astonishing performances from the great Liev Schreiber as a sleaze ball Hollywood celebrity "fixer" and especially Stephen Bauer as a Russian-Jewish thug who does most of the title character's real dirty work, the jury is still out on that show for me since Jon Voight is absolutely godawful as Schreiber's Dad and I'm not really fond of the serial elements of the show's structure.

(For a more in-depth explanation of why I prefer "Golden Age" TV, feel free to read my insanely exhaustive piece at Electric Sheep HERE.)

Amidst immersing myself in the most contemporary HBO-Showtime-styled television, a lone figure appeared on the vast-prairies-that-are-my-flat-screen-HD-monitor. No, it wasn't The Lone Ranger, but someone so equally unrecognizable that I was compelled to yelp out, "Who IS that masked man?" For at least the first third of Clear History, the "masked man" is none other than LARRY DAVID.


Clear History is, without a doubt, one of the funniest feature length comedies I've seen in quite some time. Directed by the Über-talented Greg (Superbad, The Daytrippers, Paul) Mottola, co-written by David and featuring a sensational all-star cast, it feels like a genuinely indie-spirited feature film (sans the usual holier-than-thou trappings that make films like The Way, Way Back so utterly sickening to me).

This is a MOVIE! And damn, just like Soderbergh's great Liberace-o-rama, I'm still scratching my head as to why Clear History did not first grace big screens in real movie theatres. No matter. It's a terrific picture and worth seeing any way you can.

David plays Nathan Flomm, a whining, opinionated, long-haired old-hippy Marketing Guru who owns a ground floor 10% of a brand new eco-minded car manufacturing corporation where he serves, (partially) in his own mind, but (more likely) in reality, as the real vision behind this revolutionary smart-car-like mode of transport. The company's head honcho is his old friend Will Haney (Jon Hamm), a slick, handsome and amiable Steve Jobs type who clearly loves and respects his pal, but also has his own ideas about how best to represent the company's products to the world.

All goes to seed when Will reveals to the team his "visionary" plans to roll out their product to the world. The car has been christened with the name, "Howard".

Howard? Who in their right mind would call a car "Howard"?

Will, that's who.

Nathan is open-mouthed with shock and disdainfully barb-tongued in front of the entire boardroom full of hip, youthful and typically insufferable "team players". Though Will has named the car after his own son, a deeply personal legacy-building move based upon love and family, Nathan could care less and spews globs of venom upon the idea. In anger, Nathan demands he get an immediate buyout of his 10% and quits.

This is an unbelievably stupid move. The Howard is a hit and Nathan becomes the media's whipping boy as the nutcase who gave up a multi-million-dollar stake. Not only does he lose his fame-and-fortune-driven wife, but it takes no time at all for him to lose what little money and property he really has.

Abandoning his unkempt hippie look, he moves to Martha's Vineyard with a new identity and lives out his life in obscurity and poverty. That said, he's found peace and contentment, until his happily insular world is shattered with the arrival of his nemesis - the wildly rich and successful Howard Car magnate. Will buys an opulently distasteful mansion that he's made even MORE distasteful and he loves his wife to death.

Nathan's hatred and jealousy boil over to absurd proportions.

Will, on the other hand has no idea that Nathan is Nathan. This is good. For Nathan, that is. Revenge, you see, is just around the corner. And Nathan aims for it to be sweet.

This is the stuff of great comedy and under Mottola's assured direction, the movie is a corker. It's adult, sophisticated and hugely entertaining. The picture clips along with an alternately breezy and introspective pace and the cast is to die for. Larry David and Jon Hamm are never less than engaging, Bridget Fonda is sexy and funny as Will's wife and both Michael Keaton and David Hader will have you on the floor (they almost steal the show) as crazed small town redneck survivalist-anarchist types who devise an evil plan with Nathan to take everything from Will that's sacred to him.

The postscript to all of this is that I'll never watch more than the one episode I've seen of Seinfeld, but I'm now, FINALLY, halfway through Season One of Curb Your Enthusiasm. It's a great show and all I want now is to get my clutches on the remaining seasons.

In the meantime, Clear History rocks. I've watched it three times now. And counting.

"Clear History" can be seen on HBO Canada, a multiplex channel of Bell Media’s The Movie Network (Eastern Canada) and Corus Entertainment’s Movie Central (Western Canada). The movie will be available in High Definition and on TMN GO, HBO Canada OnDemand and HBO Canada OnLine.

Thứ Tư, 31 tháng 7, 2013

INFORMANT - Review By Greg Klymkiw - Target. Hero. Villain. Darby's story crackles like a thriller should.


Informant (2012) ****
Dir. Jamie Meltzer

Review By Greg Klymkiw

Brandon Darby lives in a state of constant fear. His actions have made him a target. The death threats mount daily and he'll never know when IT is coming. He's made this choice for the good of his conscience, his country and mankind.

Brandon Darby is a hero.

When Hurricane "Katrina" decimated New Orleans and every level of American government abandoned the disenfranchised in a blatant bid to cull the less fortunate from the herd that is the United States, this passionate, anarchy-embracing activist single-handedly demonstrated the true, raw courage of what it really means to be American. He travelled to New Orleans at great personal peril in search of a missing friend, found him, then stayed to selflessly provide leadership, lifesaving and support to those people abandoned by their own government.

Darby even travelled to Venezuela in hopes of raising money for those in New Orleans who needed it most - an act that would have shamed America if it wasn't for the shady South American oil barons who mysteriously attempted to have him lead an armed insurrection with left-wing Colombian guerillas on American soil - sending him fleeing a dangerous, precarious and somewhat nefarious intervention by New World Order thugs.

No, really. As if the aforementioned wasn't enough, Brandon Darby is most definitely a hero.

An All-American Hero!!!

During the 2008 Republican Convention, he was personally responsible for the arrest of two domestic terrorists who intended to toss potentially deadly and destructive Molotov Cocktails during a planned melee - threatening the lives and property of innocent people who merely wished to peacefully exercise their democratic rights.


Brandon Darby is also a scumbag. This self-obsessed, self appointed, self-promoting miscreant used the tragedy of Katrina to extol his Messianic view of himself to the world and when the going got tough in South America, he scurried back with his tail twixt his legs.

No doubt about it.

Brandon Darby is an A-One, top-level sleaze-o-rama scumbag. This turncoat to activism, this self-aggrandizing fake; worked as an FBI informant to needlessly and cruelly entrap two young men as poster boys of criminal intolerance, leading to their vilification and imprisonment.

Now Brandon Darby is the key spokesman and advocate for the righter-then-right-wing Tea Party.

Take what you will of the aforementioned, but when you take all of it you have the stuff of great drama - a narrative full of complex twists and turns, enough conflict to layer the most complex political thriller and a central figure, Brandon Darby, a tragic hero of Shakespearean proportions.

Only thing is - filmmaker Jame Meltzer's Informant is no fiction, no straight-up drama.

It's one of the most fascinating and compelling documentary features of this past year. It will chill, anger and rivet you in ways that all good cinema should, but by the end, Meltzer provides two sides to the coin and everything in between which will force you to assess what you've seen and draw your own conclusions.

Who exactly IS Brandon Darby? Well, even after seeing this film and ruminating upon it long and hard, you might feel you know even less about Brandon Darby than you think you do.

And this is precisely why Informant will have you nailed to your chair with your eyes glued to the screen.

This is a movie - one hell of a movie at that!

"Informant" is in theatrical release via Kinosmith.

A PEOPLE UNCOUNTED - Review By Greg Klymkiw - The most vital portrait of genocide since Lanzmann's SHOAH.


A People Uncounted (2011) ****
Dir. Aaron Yeger

Review By Greg Klymkiw

That genocide continues to be perpetrated in the modern world seems almost unfathomable and yet the 20th Century and now, as we move into the new millennium, we still bear witness to the seeds of hatred being sown to continue the wholesale slaughter of people in the millions - based solely upon race, ethnicity, religion and even economics (the latter typified by the aggressive military actions of Western regimes as they pillage the Middle East in the name of a purported "war on terror").

After the Holocaust had been perpetrated against European Jews by Hitler during World War II, we often encountered the phrase: "We must NEVER forget, lest it happen again." Yet we do FORGET and in many cases, "we" do not even know or adequately acknowledge the existence of genocide being perpetrated against so many groups throughout the world - the Turkish genocide of Armenians, Stalin's purges and Holodomor against 10,000,000 Ukrainians, the recent and various "ethnic cleansings" within the former Yugoslavia and Rwanda's decimation of Tutsis by the Hutus - to name but a few.

The most egregious myopia of genocide continues to be the murder of up to 1,500,000 Romani people by the Nazis.


Aaron Yeger's A People Uncounted is an important film - the most vital documentary on the subject of genocide since the groundbreaking Shoah by Claude Lanzmann. Yeger's superbly researched and emotionally wrenching film focuses upon the racism and genocide against the Roma Nation - commonly and disparagingly referred to as "Gypsies." This distinct cultural group originally migrated from Northern India to the rest of the world - primarily Europe - over 1000 long years ago. They are, as the title of this film states, a people who have been "uncounted".

My response to Yeger's film included, I must admit, a deeply personal connection to the material that only managed to strengthen my belief in the film's unquestionable artistic achievements as I was reminded, once again, that the best cinema must always maintain a passionate voice that speaks to viewers emotionally on a variety of personal levels. A People Uncounted has this strength in spades.

I had always been sensitive to a myriad of repressive and racist attitudes to "gypsies", but it really hit home for me - personally - during the mid-1990s. This was when I first became aware of the racist policies towards the Romani people in Romania. They stemmed officially from the dictator/butcher Nicolae Ceausescu, then continued in a vaguely unofficial fashion after his death.

One of the results of Ceausescu's legacy was an almost nationwide hatred of the Roma with vigourous campaigns to drive an already impoverished minority ethnic group (the poverty not their choice, nor, as was commonly assumed, of their own doing) into a position of even greater desperation. A combination of death by starvation (parents sacrificing food to feed their children) and the belief that their children would be better off in the care of orphanages, led to the almost unbelievable situation where 80% of the orphanage populations in Romania were comprised of Romani children.

My wife and I were so appalled by this that we targeted Romania and began the arduous process of international adoption with the hopes we might make a difference in the lives of one or two Romani kids. After a whole year of endless bureaucracy on the Canadian side to receive the official go-ahead on behalf of our own government, we began the process of moving further with the assistance of agencies specializing in Romanian adoptions.

After attending several orientation sessions with a variety of agencies we were shocked to discover that the racist attitudes towards the Romani extended even to Romanian-Canadians who presided over the adoption facilitation. Whenever we expressed our desire to adopt children of Roma background, our requests were met with - at worst, derision and at best, lies. "Oh no," we'd be told, "There are no Romani children in the state orphanages of Romania." The lies seemed almost more despicable than the open hatred when, after considerable research we discovered that orphanages in Romania would go so far as to hide all the Romani children when westerners came to visit the orphanages.

The few who were sympathetic to our desire - those doing mission work as opposed to straight-up adoption agencies - corroborated the research. They would cautiously admit it was not impossible to adopt children of Roma heritage, but that in reality it would be near-impossible. They painted a portrait of endless bureaucratic gymnastics, coupled with forking over insane amounts of bribe money and then - more often than not - still the possibility existing of ending up childless or being offered non-Romani children.

It was even suggested that orphanage officials might falsify medical records in order to offer a non-Romani child that was stricken with some debilitating ailment that would be enough for our own government to reject the child on medical grounds. This, of course, would be done out of spite that someone from the west would dare be compassionate towards children viewed as little more than cockroaches.

That put an end to that and we moved on, but a day doesn't go by that the thought of all those children forced to suffer in state-run orphanages doesn't hang over me - a living death perpetrated on innocents whose only crime was to be hated.

Seeing Yeger's film opened the floodgates of those haunting personal memories and in a way, opened an even deeper wound within me. I had always felt an added affinity to those in Eastern Europe and the Balkans who suffered from racism, oppression and systematic genocide and culturally, as a Ukrainian-Canadian, I felt closer, for example, to the Roma and Jews than Russians, even though the language, cultural traditions and religion of Russia was oddly closer to that of Ukrainians than the others, but those similarities were surface only. The weight of one thousand years of Russian (and occasionally Polish, Mongolian, Turkish and Austro-Hungarian) tyranny almost forces one to inadvertently choose sides with those whose collective suffering match one's own.


And what degrees of suffering Yeger's film exposes!

He introduces us to a variety of Romani Holocaust survivors and children of said survivors amidst commentary from a number of scholars, artists and experts who paint a portrait of a people who were continually hated and on the receiving end of prejudicial acts based upon utterly idiotic sterotyping. The most common is that "gypsies" were liars, cheaters and thieves and that these traits were somehow genetic. This not only led to a history of persecution in every country in which they settled, but often resulted in wholesale slaughter.

The other common stereotype was the itinerant nature of "gypsies". Well, I'd be "itinerant" too if I was forced to either live on the fringes because of my race or worse, forced to ALWAYS be on the move as no town or country was amenable to having me live there - again, because of my race. These stereotypes were often enforced in the literature, art and popular culture of the "dominant" societies/races - mostly in blatant negative terms.

Typically, when artists chose to paint positive portraits of "gypsies", it almost always fell into the "noble savage" stereotypes (similar to those popularized in North American cultures with respect to Aboriginal peoples). In these works (which included even the likes of Victor Hugo) we were presented with a downtrodden people who cavorted about their den of happy thieves in brightly coloured costumes - infused with a "life force" of cheap alcohol, lively dancing, fiddle-playing, sooth-saying and almost childlike superstition. (Michael Ignatieff, Canadian politician, privileged egghead and grandson of a Russian Count once described Ukrainian culture in terms of "embroidered peasant shirts" and "the nasal whine of ethnic instruments.")

In addition to the Nazi atrocities perpetrated against the Roma during World War II, Yeger presents a variety of horrendous actions and violence from ALL European peoples - not just Germans. We are even introduced to contemporary actions of racism - some of which seem all too believable in a kind of almost unbelievable fashion: entire political parties devoted to eradicating and controlling the "scourge" of "gypsies", huge ghettos to keep Romani in their place (not unlike reservations for North American First Nations peoples) and overall hatreds intense enough to inspire those Roma who can, to escape European persecution and emigrate to countries like Canada where they can live free and decent lives.


The core of Yeger's film, however, are the war crimes against the Roma during World War II. Yes, "gypsies" got their own special "final solution". Hitler wanted them to be obliterated as passionately as he wanted to rid the world of Jews and homosexuals.

The witnesses presented to us deliver acts of cruelty so sickening that the film is another vital, important document of the utter inhumanity of these actions. We see an entire people who are stripped of their humanity (where it might even be grudgingly acknowledged as such) and subjected to torture and extermination. Death squads that don't even bother to round people into boxcars, drag them out into the streets and execute them, or force them to dive into huge pits where they're machine-gunned to death and appalingly, in non-German countries, the actions of the Nazis are seen as accepted by local communities - a welcome extermination of little more than pests.


Finally, though, as the title of the film suggests itself, we are presented with the reality of the fact that the suffering of the Roma is unknown and/or unacknowledged. These people were considered so inhuman that proper census records were never even kept to be able to place a remotely accurate count of how many Romani people existed to be fodder for Hitler's final solution. For many years, an image of a young woman looking out from a boxcar had become a symbol specifically of the Shoah until she was eventually identified as a "gypsy".

Not that it ultimately mattered. One Roma survivor describes the mingling of Jewish ashes with those of the "gypsies," suggesting that all who died before, during and after World War II, did so in the name of what must surely be the most heinous human act. Ultimately, genocide, based as it is in both ignorance and hatred, is what surely binds all of us as victims or potential victims.

And yes, we MUST remember. As people, the count is what roots genocidal actions in reality and it is thoroughly and utterly unacceptable for any people to remain "uncounted" in the past, present and future histories of mass murder of staggering proportions.

To think any of us is immune from being either the target or perpetrator of genocide is to ignore how much work our species still needs to do in order to ensure it never happens again.


For me, it always comes back to the children. Children are the future and when they are not spared these indignities, we might as well be killing ourselves. One of the survivors in Yeger's film describes the actions of Josef Mengele upon him. Mengele not only conducted medical experiments of the most insane variety, he took special delight in carving up children with no anasthetic. The screams of the children not only gave him pleasure, but he was not immune to torturing a child so high-ranking Nazi colleagues could take his place in the room and rape the children while, as the survivor describes his own torture to us, he presents the soul-draining experience of having a long metal spike inserted into his groin and shoved up deep into his body until it rests precariously near the heart - still beating. And he screams as he feels pain so intense he feels like he will die - as he is raped by a sweating, grunting, pleasure-twitching Nazi.

And the pain, and the shock, and the realization - as a child - what one human will do to another is but one example of one human being's bravery - to survive, to never forget the pain, to relieve it again and again and to tell us, so that we too, will never forget.

"A People Uncounted" is in theatrical release via Kinosmith."